family christmas

my family, even though we all live in austin, doesn't gather together very often, but christmas eve is one of those times.

yesterday afternoon we gathered at my brother frank and sister-in-law kathy's home. they always host because they have a house that's big enough for us all.

i look forward to these gatherings. i love seeing everyone and spending a few hours together and catching up. the length of time we spend together feels just about right (many of us are introverts), and at the same time, i wish we did it more often. last year, for the first time, i didn't attend, because i was in maui. this year i was really looking forward to it.

this year my grand-daughter hannah wasn't present. she's spending this christmas with her father's family and was especially looking forward to spending time with both her half-sisters, an uncommon occurrence. i look forward very much to her presence at our gathering next year.

my daughter's boyfriend, bruce, joined us for the first time this year. welcome, bruce.

we've been planning our gathering for weeks. instead of a big fancy meal with a turkey or ham, we decided on mexican food for our christmas eve dinner this year. more informal, casual, something different.

kathy made enchiladas. grace, her and frank's 11-year-old daughter made nachos. frank offered traditional pork tamales.

my brother will's wife helen brought a puerto rican rice dish. helen's mother is korean, father puerto rican. this dish is one her mother learned to make early in their marriage. it's kind of like spanish rice but has pigeon peas in it. they're kind of like lentils. it was very good.

i brought guacamole i made using a highly rated recipe i found on google.

lela and bruce brought vegetarian pinto bean tamales and apple cinnamon tamales from mr. natural. (my request. i like tamales, but lard doesn't appeal.) thanks, lela and bruce. i'm eating steamed apple cinnamon tamales as i write this, and they are delicious.

after everyone arrived and got settled in, we put food on the table and gathered to eat. we (brothers frank and will, and i) said the traditional family blessing, which we call "the baruch". it goes "baruch ata, adonai elohainu, melech ha olam, hamotsi lechem, menha aritz." (the "ch" is pronounced like "kh".)

while bruce, i'm sure, was wondering what the heck was going on (these people are praying in a foreign language!), frank explained. it's the jewish blessing of the bread. our father spent time in israel studying hebrew and brought this blessing back with him. "blessed art thou, o lord our god, king of the universe, for bringing forth bread from the earth."

we ate too much. and then there was tres leches cake, which kathy made, apple cinnamon tamales, and brownie. i could only eat a small slice of cake and one tamale. then i was really full.

(even though i enjoy the festivities of special occasions, I'm always glad after such feasts to get back to my plain, ordinary fruit- and veggie-laden diet. i must be a peasant at heart, because rich food is not something i can indulge in very often and feel well.)

nephew sam, age 8, will and helen's son, ate pizza, having a limited palate. helen tells me he's getting better. will, who was also a picky eater as a child, is working with him to expand his range. helen says that because she has lupus, that's made her sensitive to the connection between what she eats and how she feels. i have come to have much more sensitivity about that connection myself, having sensitivities to certain foods.

after dinner, bruce and sammie played nine-ball on grace's wii. we stood around and watched as bruce sank the last ball and then gathered in the living room to open gifts. grace was the gift distributor this year and did a great job.

at christmas, we give christmas gifts to the children and birthday gifts to the adults. i know that sounds strange, but it's easier that way. the children usually have birthday parties and get their birthday gifts then. birthdays aren't that big a deal for adults. we are often working on each other's birthdays, so coordinating is difficult, and we give each other birthday gifts at christmas. a year's worth of birthdays, taken care of in one day. (we usually call or email on or around actual birthdays. we don't just ignore them)

everyone seemed happy with their gifts. we had sent wish lists to each other via email in the weeks before christmas, so everyone got something they wanted. helen got baffle gab, a game. frank got obama books and a multimeter. i gave bruce some cds on his amazon.com wish list, which lela had pointed me too. cutting edge stuff. i felt very sophisticated in waterloo records!

bruce gave me a nicely framed photo of hannah, dancing naked on a beach in tulum, mexico, in her fully expressed goddess mode of "all out," which she would prefer to live in all the time, but unfortunately doesn't mesh with the usual expectations of an 8-year-old girl. she's beautiful.

and after regular gifts, we had a white elephant gift exchange. nicely done, y'all! i ended up with pedestrian turn signals. you put them on your ears!

i'm pleased that i got to have a conversation with each of the adults there. will really likes his new job at the radisson, and we get a family discount.

frank referred me to a couple of divorce lawyers he knows for a friend who asked, and we talked about a mutual acquaintance who's very smart.

kathy told me how things were in her office and that she'll be eligible to retire in about 3 years.

helen talked about sam's schooling and food preferences, and her upbringing as a multicultural military child, at home with many cuisines.

bruce talked about going on tour with jason mraz and getting to see new parts of the world. he and kathy were both raised in austin. he seemed to connect with everyone well.

sam, an aspergian, let me hug him and seemed comfortable with the wii and a little hand-held game he'd brought.

grace sparkled in her peace symbol necklace and showed us some dance she and her friends made up. the hot dog, the lawn mower, and so forth.

we all missed hannah's lively presence.

no children cried or otherwise had meltdowns. a true blessing! and frank took a couple of group photos with a timer, so he could be included. he'll email them later.

i am deeply grateful to have a family, and to have this family in particular. our time together felt really sweet, and was fleeting enough to look forward to gathering again next year. family, i love you all!