God in drag

My friend Zoe Hill included this in an email, and I thought it so wonderful, I want to share.

You are the Sun in drag.
You are God hiding from yourself.
Remove all the 'mine' – that is the veil.
Why ever worry about anything?
Listen to what your friend Hafiz
Knows for certain:
The appearance of this world
Is a Magi's brilliant trick, though its affairs are
Nothing into nothing.
You are a divine elephant with amnesia
Trying to live in an ant hole.
Sweetheart, O sweetheart,
You are God in Drag!
-- Hafiz

hillary vs. barack

Hillary was the heir-apparent. First there was George H.W. Bush in 1988, then Bill Clinton in 1992, followed by George W. Bush in 2000, to be followed by Hillary in 2008. You know that's what she, and Bill, and the Bushes, were thinking. It's as if they all believed Hillary was entitled to be the next president.

She thought so too, especially after Monica.

I don't think Americans like this idea of our country ruled by two dynasties.

I think that's part of the appeal of Barack to voters. This is OUR country, too, and WE get to choose. This is not a monarchy, with automatic familial succession to the throne. We get to pick who we want.

W. has been a flat-out disaster as president, and his qualifications to be president were based on the fact that his father was president. He had name recognition, and people generally liked Poppy Bush. And, of course, after Monica, people wanted something different.

But W. ain't no Poppy, just like Hillary ain't no Bill.

So pardon us, Clintons and Bushes, but we voters are skeptical. You don't get any free rides any more. We've had enough and we want change.

If Hillary had been a strong voice of the opposition in Congress, it might be different now. But she played "go along to get along" instead of questioning our involvement in Iraq. What was she thinking? That she'd play nice now and get to do things her way after she got elected? Hillary, where's your fire, woman?

She could have established herself as the voice of change, but she didn't, and Barack neatly stepped into that role, leaving her as the voice of the status quo--NOT a position any politician would like to be in with the most unpopular president ever a lame duck. And it's too late now for her to change.

Plus, political dynasties in America haven't been successful. Look at the Kennedys. The most respected name in Democratic support is Caroline Kennedy, who seems to have no ambitions at all to ever hold an elected office. Her father and uncle were assassinated, and her brother, who might have been a political star, died young. She supports Obama. Smart woman.

So I'm voting for Barack Obama in the Texas primary and probably in November as well. A lot can happen between now and then, but I know I'm ready for a change, and he is the kind of leader I want/we need.

oscars confession

this is a true confession. i watch the oscars on tv.

i know, i know, i tell people i never watch tv. and this is true. i have a set and only watch videos and DVDs on it. this year i made an exception and watched the oscars. i, mary, adjusted my antenna and watched tv for over two hours!

i was babysitting hannah sunday night. i turned the tv on when she was in the tub, and the show was already well underway. i missed the best supporting actor presentation and only learned on the internet the next day that javier bardem had won.

hannah joined me on the sofa after her bath, occasionally asking questions but mostly snuggling, falling asleep in my arms before the show ended. she liked the songs. she wants to be a singer with an art gallery when she grows up.

did i tell you i love being her grandmother?

i like movies. well, some movies. i had not seen many of the nominees this year. i read the reviews of "no country for old men" and "there will be blood," and because of the violence, i've shied away from seeing them in theaters.

recently, i came up with an NLP-based strategy to deal with the intensity of emotions at films like that: sit at the back of the theater and wear sunglasses. the better to dissociate with, my dear!

i also really want to see "the diving bell and the butterfly," "once," and "charlie wilson's war." i started reading "atonement" but couldn't get into it. the film might be better.

i did see "la vie en rose" on DVD and thought marion cotillard was wonderful. i saw "ratatouille" as well and liked it a lot.

last year i saw most of the nominated films, even the shorts, but this year was different. i spent a lot of time doing NLP training and then was in maui at a time when most of the nominated films are still playing. who wants to go to the movies on maui!? not me!

i have added the unseen greats to my netflix queue and may catch some that are still showing.

it can be hard to tell how different a character is from an actor's own personality if you've only seen one film and haven't seen them as themselves on award shows. that's one reason i like watching the oscars. who basically plays themselves? who gives themselves over to the character? i prefer the latter. i guess these folks are called "character actors" for that very reason, and it seems that the winners this year were all very talented character actors.

not to mention all being europeans playing american archetypes, except for cotillard.

i missed michael clayton--it's on my netflix list--but was thrilled when tilda swinton won best supporting actress. i saw her years ago in a wonderful film called "orlando". based on a novel by virginia woolf, it is a comic tale of an ageless person who at the beginning of the story centuries ago is an androgynous young nobleman. he has adventures--and then wakes up one day to discover he is now a she.

then she has adventures and wakes up one day to discover she is now a he. and so forth until present times.

tilda swinton was superb, believable as a man and as a woman. only a pretty great actress could have pulled this role off, and she did it wonderfully well at a young age.

she certainly doesn't fit the hollywood mold of actresses, wearing no makeup, with a simple haircut and a baggy dress covering her figure! you might think she is ascetic, like a buddhist nun or something. however, in her speech, she said that her oscar resembled her agent, even down to the buttocks, and mentioned george clooney's batman suit with nipples. wow, she managed to mention buttocks and nipples in her acceptance speech! go, tilda! you rock! if more people did that, maybe ratings wouldn't be so low. (yes, i read online newspapers for my news. even though i don't watch tv, i'm not totally out of it culturally.)

other highlights: daniel day-lewis playfully letting helen mirren knight him, jon stewart bringing back marketa irglova make her speech after she was cut off, jack nicholson reading his lines off a tele-prompter like everyone else but imbuing them with an air of spontaneity. i don't think i'd like him in person, but he is a fine actor.

so the 2007 oscars have been handed out, and the film industry is already working on the 2008 slate. will there be a blockbuster film, or will the winners be spread among many deserving films? stay tuned.

left brain, right brain

click this link (or click the title to this blog entry, a cool trick i just learned): http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,22535838-5012895,00.html

which direction does the dancer spin? are you left-brained or right-brained? can you switch between them?

she changed on me! the dancer initially turned clockwise, but when i looked away to read text and looked back, she spun "anti-"clockwise. whoa! what's going on here?

i played with it some more and realized it can work both ways because it's a silhouette, but i didn't get any aha's about what triggers the change in my perception about her direction, just that i need to look away for at least a split second and then look back at her. (what NLP calls a break state.) it's a mystery to me.

(an aside: my friend john gough tried it and wrote me, "She flashed me like we were on Bourbon Street at Mardi Gras...I threw her some beads. -- JG ")

i love learning about the brain. of special interest is the corpus callosum, which connects the two hemispheres of the brain. to better integrate left and right brains, thus to have more resources-awareness-flexibility, i do cross-lateral exercises, found in the books brain gym and smart moves. figure 8s with arms that cross the midline and right elbow to left knee-left elbow to right knee are good brain exercises. so is alternate nostril breathing, a yoga technique.

i do them each day as part of my waking ritual intended to get me through my day with as many resources as possible!

once the truth about those rumors of mortality sinks in at approximately age 50, life becomes more and more precious, and i want to get the most out of it. plus, corpus callosum deficiencies may figure in ADHD and asperger's syndrome, which affect people in my family. hence the interest and the exercises...

i'm currently reading a book, my stroke of insight, by a neuroanatomist ph.d., jill taylor, who had a stroke and observed her own left brain shutting down, area by area. her right-brain-only awareness was at peace; she perceived herself as fluid rather than solid, as deeply connected to the universe. it sounds very much like descriptions of nirvana, of being fully awake, of being enlightened.

i'll post a review when i finish the book.

my car runs!

well! i bought a new battery for my car last week and installed it yesterday. voila! it started right up.

i still don't know if the alternator is having problems and just occasionally working. i drove it to HEB last night but called my daughter first, to let her know that if it didn't restart in the HEB parking lot, i'd be calling her for a ride home.

it started. it's started 4 times in a row now.

this morning i drove it to work, since it is so unwieldy to carry groceries for the week while biking or walking 1.5 miles. (i bring yogurt, bananas, apples, spinach, salad dressing, carrots, green onions, etc.--breakfast, lunch, and snacks.)

driving, i notice what an old rattly car i have. it's convenient to have and use occasionally, but i LOVE walking and biking!

maybe i'll keep it for occasional use, or sell it and use carshare occasionally. now that it seems to be running, there's also that idea of making it into an art car, for occasional use.

hmm.... i could use it as a canvas and affix oddities to it. like barbies! i could be driving "the barbie car"! mermaid barbie, executive barbie, astronaut barbie, red carpet barbie, couture barbie... paint it pink and silver...

but then could i bear having that parked in my driveway?

or perhaps just a simple, tasteful mermaid barbie affixed as a hood ornament, and a bumper sticker "my other car is a bicycle."

what a fine day!

today, saurday, is a fine february day. sunny, breezy, currently 76 degrees.

rode over to castle hill fitness for a yoga class this morning. my friend marco schneider has spoken highly of gioconda's healing in yoga class, patterned after murti's class at casa de luz, which is no longer offered. good class, with two spotters to help people adjust postures, for which i am grateful.

we did some flows. worked with a partner assisting. used wall and ropes for hanging down dog, then for inversions. ended with savasana.

i liked gioconda. she read "the invitation" by oriah mountain dreamer at the end and was moved during her reading. i liked that. the class was crowded, though. i was the last person in, and there was not room for another person.

i'm on a venture to check out various saturday yoga classes in austin. i'd like to add a class to the two iyengar/hatha flow classes i do with eleanor harris each week. i've done mostly iyengar since 1998. i appreciate what it's done for me--and there's a lot more out there i'd like to try: anusara, ashtanga, bikram, svaroopa, kripalu, integral, and others.

i found the shoal creek trail at 12th just east of lamar and followed it down to town lake. nice trail, not crowded at all. goes below street level, so it's a fast way to go south,avoiding lamar, avoiding having to cross 6th, 5th, and cesar chavez. it wound through the new condo high rises south of 5th, through the city power plant. nice bike trail. it nearly hooks up to the pease park trail that starts about 12th and lamar.

then i pedaled to bicycle sport shop for a new helmet. mine was 8 years old and not fitting well. donated the old helmet to their bike rental program.

stopped back by the wonderful new coliseum park to watch the fountain. that fountain is so playful, i started laughing out loud! it's plumb goofy. someone had a blast designing its dance.

i've been biking a lot lately. commuted to work via bike 3 days last week. i'm getting used to riding on downtown streets. trinity and san jacinto have well-marked bike lanes for most of their lengths. 4th is an east-west bikeway. once i got a bike map i could ride on bike lanes.

i did decide to wear a helmet on the streets, even though i don't really like to. it's just that riding a bike amidst traffic is a very vulnerable position to be in. i don't plan to have any accidents, but if i cannot avoid one, at least i can minimize any possible injuries by wearing a helmet and gloves.

i'm enjoying the hell out of riding my bike! the interval training of riding up hills is great. i can feel my quadriceps and my cardiovascular system getting stronger each day. i like pushing my breath and heart to work harder for short times. it helps me feel really really good.

watched hannah while lela went to a yoga class at yoga yoga, for which bruce joined her. hannah and i drove lela's car to the barton creek trail off barton hills drive. h climbed rocks and was happy. she's a real nature girl, rarely fearful and comfortable in her body, also comfortable leading.

tonight i'm going to my friend stephanie ruloph's 39th birthday celebration at stubb's to dance to g. love and special sauce. haven't been out dancing in ages!

mutant message downunder controversy

i feel it's necessary to share this on my blog after posting a two-part book review of mutant message downunder by marlo morgan.

i read a 1991 version of the book, which was self-published. i loved the story and wanted to publish a post to be called "lessons from the real people."

in googling the author's name to learn more about her, i learned that mutant message downunder is a work of fiction and not a true account. marlo morgan was confronted by many inconsistencies and errors after she published her book, especially by australians.

her book sold like hotcakes in the u.s., however, and a major u.s. publisher wanted to republish it under its imprint.

eight aboriginal elders flew to the u.s. to discuss the matter with the publisher. morgan was forced to admit that the work was a product of her imagination and therefore fiction. the 1994 edition was sold as a piece of fiction.

i felt very disappointed to learn this. it's similar to the controversy surrounding carlos castaneda's books. there's no external verification that don juan matus even existed--although i must say that castaneda's writing, if fiction, was much more sophisticated than morgan's.

i believe marlo morgan FELT this book was true, even if it never happened. it taps into an archetype, a human need to believe that somewhere there are people who are innocent, pure, wise, and holy. noble savages, perhaps. why do we need to believe this? to lessen our guilt? to give us hope? i don't know. but it's powerful. i mentioned i was reading the book to nearly a dozen people, and not one of them responded with any knowledge of the controversy.

what tripped her up were things like writing that australians don't have screens on their windows and that they use quarters in pay phones. much of what she wrote about aboriginal culture, such as their naming practices and using dreamcatchers, is actually closer to native american practices than aboriginal.

if you want to learn more, google marlo morgan and read some of the links.

i love riding my bike

sunday i biked across downtown during the marathon hoopla, and it was a breeze. road closures? hah! only to cars!

i got to dance and had a great dance. stamina is up, due to all the walking and biking.

after lunch at whole foods, i noodled down to the lady bird lake trail. watched the leash-free dogs catch tennis balls in the lake at auditorium shores.

then i went to the new park--does it have a name?--where the city coliseum used to be.

i was impressed.

it has a nice hill with a great view of the downtown skyline. there were some great puffy little clouds framing it on sunday afternoon.

also, the park has one of the coolest fountains ever! it looks like a spiral galaxy with about 8 arms, and the spouts on the arms and in the center are about 4 inches apart. a very playful program sets them off. the fountain area is flat, so playing in the water is encouraged. a good number of barefoot children were getting wet (in february!).

i love austin!

hang shape swing thrust

when i was studying interplay, i learned about the four coordination patterns from my interplay teacher cynthia winton-henry. these are neuromuscular tension patterns that link body, mind, and emotions. the primary interplay application is in movement.

these patterns are swing, shape, thrust, and hang.

today at the 5rhythms peer group dance i noticed a lot of swing in my dance. (by the way, we're dancing every sunday from 10 to 12:30 at the khabele studio on west seventh and rio grande.)

i'm grateful for the swing because it's fun, and also, it's a sign that my locked-up lumbar area, which has been a focus of awareness, chiropractic care, and exercise since last summer after realizing i had minor scoliosis, is finally freeing up.

later i looked up swing in my interplay secrets book, which includes an article by cynthia, "the primary colors of movement: swing, thrust, shape, and hang."

cynthia wrote that SWING relates us to the ebb and flow of our weight. swinging is moving side to side, through or around the center. swing takes in all sides and lets momentum and gravity do a lot of the work.

to me, swing is about hips, and to a lesser extent, chest and head. it's about moving the center of gravity from side to side like a pendulum. when you've really got it, there is a swinging feeling that makes it a really fun way to move!

we all recognize when a piece of music swings. if music swings, movement follows quickly! swing is very fun and playful. there's a bounciness to it.

...and while i'm writing about swing, let me add something about the other movement patterns, to provide this fascinating information in the same place.

THRUST, according to cynthia, is about energy inside that needs to move out. thrusting is jabbing, pointing, pushing. it focuses and directs energy outward. it catalyzes and makes things happen, intensifies, articulates, creates energy through expending it.

to me, thrust is linear one-way movement. thrusting is directed. thrust is running, karate, marching, kicking, boxing. heil hitler! it often has some force to it, but it can be a small movement, i.e., flicking your fingers.

SHAPE, cynthia says, is about gathering and containing energy to our center. it's about boundaries, dimensions, differences. you shape when you sit still, hold a position, contain yourself, place things in order, and are aware of being in your place and being centered. shaping forms, composes, balances, sorts, and proceeds one step at a time.

to me, shaping is about moving from the center and returning to the center. shaping is namaste, yoga, chakras. it is about being separate, self-contained, centered in one's own body/being. shaping is like stillness in gabrielle roth's 5 rhythms--move. be still. move. be still.

HANG is being at one with flow and the energy field, according to cynthia. it doesn't have a direction. it's being acutely aware of mystery, sensing connections between disparate realities. it's flowing, following, meandering, falling into things, floating, improvising. it enjoys physical contact. it accepts the body on its own terms. it's tai chi, snorkeling, contact improv.

hanging is slow. it's feeling the weight, letting it drift. it doesn't have a center, a direction, repetition. hanging floats and drifts.

readers can google these pattern names for more information, if desired. there are personality attributes associated with these patterns. a choreographer, betsy wetzig, has discovered that shape, swing, and thrust have different centers of gravity in the body, while hang has a moving center of gravity. she associates these with personality characteristics: thrust = the driver, shape = the organizer, swing = the collaborator, and hang = the visionary.

in fact, here's a great chart that explains more about these patterns as archetypes: http://www.moves4greatness.com/mainchart.htm

book review: mutant message downunder part 2

you might call the real people "primitive". except that...marlo observed that they could communicate nonverbally, sometimes at a distance. at one point she is called on to lead the group. they find no food or water for two days. desperate, dying, on the third day, she receives a mental message to suck on a rock. she does, and her saliva flows again. she mentally asks how to find water and receives the message "be water." puzzled, she finally gives up left-brain thinking and begins to imagine herself as water. within half a hour, she rests on a rock and as she leans back, her hand touches a pool of fresh, clean water.

she witnessed the healing of a young man's broken leg. the compound fracture was bad, the bone sticking out of the skin. marlo, a healer herself, observed the real people's healers at work, moving their hands up and down the injured leg an inch from the skin to connect the injured leg with its former healthy pattern, eliminating swelling. two healers and the injured man together chant the bone pieces back into place. then a tar-like ointment made from aged clots of menstrual blood collected from the women was applied to the torn skin. the healing was so complete, he walked on it without a limp the next day.

marlo eventually learned that she and the tribal elder had been born in the same year on the same day at the same time, half the world apart. in a sense, they were soul mates and, she was told, had a soul agreement made before birth to seek each other out after 50 years had passed. it was her destiny to find the Real People, go on walkabout with them, get to know and appreciate them and their culture, and take a message back to the rest of the world.

the message was this: the Real People had made a decision to leave the earth. they elected to be celibate. when the last one of them dies, that will be the end of them.

they asked marlo, the mutant, to share their message, asking the civilized world to pay attention to what the modern way of life is doing to the water, the animals, the air, and the human race. they pray we find a solution to our problems without destroying the world. they said that some mutants were on the edge of regaining their individual spirit of true beingness,and that there is time to reverse the destruction.

but, they said, the rain pattern has already changed. the heat has increased. plant and animal reproduction have lessened. the real people cannot support themselves without food and water in the desert. they cannot help. they can only warn.

so they, along with other endangered species, are the canaries in the coal mine for planet earth. it's an incredible loss to lose the real people. the youngest member was 13 at the time of the book; he'd be 31 now, so a good many real people remain.

i hope they share more of their wisdom with us mutants. to that end, i'm creating a new blog entry, distilled from this book, to be called "lessons from the real people."

there, i said it

okay, valentine's day has come and gone. this year i spent it alone. i am okay with that. i hope it won't always be the case. i am grateful i'm not in a miserable relationship. today i feel extreme gratitude that i am not in a relationship with a man who has promised to be sexually exclusive and yet has broken that promise.

i greatly dislike womanizing men, unfaithful men, dishonest men. i would rather just end the relationship and walk away. and i have done that. twice. it's not fun, but it's the cleanest, clearest thing i know how to do in response to a boyfriend of mine behaving like that. that kind of behavior is so...inconsiderate.

i want to put this out there: men, if you behave like that, if that's how you deal with your relationship problems, do not even waste one second of my time! there's simply no excuse.

i don't understand why men behave that way. all i can figure is that it's a passive aggressive way of breaking up, getting the other person to do the dirty work while you protest that you couldn't help it, something just came over you.

or maybe it's me, or maybe it's just the human condition.

i love the quote below. that is how i felt at the end of each relationship, that these people just didn't see ME. and i, of course, did the same. love can be so blind.

We are like sculptors, constantly carving out of others the image we
long for, need, love or desire, often against reality, against their benefit,
and always, in the end, a disappointment, because it does not fit them.

~~ Anais Nin

a snowman biography

forgive me for indulging, but my nephew sam is quite an imaginative writer, and i want to share this very short story he wrote.

A Snowman Biography

by Sam Battle, age 7 (my nephew)

Hello. My name is James W. Snow. I am currently 36. My middle name is Whoosh. I'm right-sticked. I live with Berra, my wonderful wife, Snowflake, my 6-year old daugther, White, my 7-year-old son, and Button, our dog.

I was born and raised in an igloo. Later Mum (Mom) was killed in World Snow War 1 (I), and my dad died of old age. Grandma died in World Snow War 2 (II). Grandpa lives.

I am a little ashamed of my middle name, Whoosh. This is because my dad was some wind.

Well, folks, goodnight.

a valentine's story to warm your heart

my friend lakshmi's mother died last year. she and lakshmi's dad were married for at least 40 years, and this year was his first year alone.

lakshmi sent the following email today. thank you, lakshmi, for opening my heart by sharing this.

Hi Folks,

A year ago January my mom died. A month later my dad called me and asked if I would be his Valentine. This year I decided to call him first and asked him to be mine. He was very happy about that and told me about his day.

He said he had been missing my mom really badly. He also said that he didn't really want to complain about it because he was thinking about all the men and women he knew over the years that lost their husbands and wives. He lives in a small town of about 650 people. Then he said he got an idea.

He went to a woman in town that was selling flowers for Valentine's day. He did his best to remember all the people that lost their spouses the last few years and made a list of somewhere between 50 and 75 people. He then had this lady and her delivery person deliver a single stemmed rose, with a card that said "To my Valentine....Love....." and put the person's spouse's name on the card. He told the lady not to let anyone know where these came from. He also made sure it was delivered in a spirit of love so they would not think it was some kind of joke.

This was yesterday afternoon and my dad was feeling quite moved instead of so bad after doing this. Then he called me later. He arrived home and on his front door was a long stemmed rose and a box of chocolates with a note that read "Happy Valentine's Day, My Love, Beverly". "My Love" was the phrase they used when they gave each other gifts and is inscribed on the inside of their wedding rings.

Dad says it didn't matter who put that on his door, it felt like it was from my mom. He said he cried like a baby. He said you rarely get to see how what you do for another person makes them feel....and he got to experience it that day. He also said he would never believe it if you told him that would be the best Valentine's day of his life....because his Valentine was not there. And this was the best Valentine's day of his life.

I was trying not to cry while I was listening to him as I walked through Whole Foods. I had to hang up for a little bit. I thought about all the ways I deal with heartbreak....EFT, dance, therapy, etc. And I thought about my dad who lives in a small town with none of that....and how brilliant it was that he dealt with his grief in this way. And it made me think of Valentine's day in a different way that I have before....as a day to celebrate Love and the Heart and opening the heart....no matter what your circumstances are...or who is with you or who is gone.

Love,
Lakshmi

book review: mutant message downunder part 1

i just finished reading a remarkable book, mutant message downunder. this is not a new book. the copyright is 1991, but it was new to me, and i was assured by alec nicholls, who sold it to me at the january NLP meetup, that it was an excellent read. alec was right.

first, an aside. as a book editor, i wish the author had used an editor. the book is self-published. in some ways, that helps her message come across as personal and heartfelt. what distracting are typos, missing words, inconsistencies, and odd spacing between sentences. nevertheless, the story is so remarkable, i have to recommend it. do not try this at home! hire an editor!

marlo morgan was an american woman in australia, 50 years old, divorced, with grown children. her work was in the line of social work and public health. she had been honored for her work with young half-breeds in an urban area, and when she received an invitation to receive an award from an aboriginal tribe, she assumed it would be more of the same--a banquet, a plaque, recognition.

litle did she know that what lay ahead of her would profoundly change her life. she had been summoned by an undocumented nomadic group of 62 aborigines to join them on a walkabout for three months in the outback. during that time, she adapted to their lifestyle, a necessity for her survival, but not without difficulty. she took these people into her heart, and they took her into their hearts.

in this book, she documents her transformation to the way of life of a very remarkable group of people, who it turns out summoned her to walk with them and then commissioned her to take a message back to civilization.

note: i've read of one other instance of someone in a shamanic, preliterate culture summoning someone from the first world. martin prechtel in his books "secrets of a talking jaguar" and "long life, honey in the heart" relates how in his young adult life in new mexico he had a series of dreams, following which he began a slow and sometimes arduous journey south, through mexico and into guatemala. he recognized a village near lake atitlan from his dreams and then met a man who appeared in those dreams, chiv, whose first words to young martin were "what took you so long?" chiv was a shaman who apprenticed martin into the ways of the tzutijil mayans, and when civil war and americanization disrupted centuries-old village traditions, prechtel--by now a full-fledged tzutijil shaman himself--fled back to the u.s., with a lot of stories to share.

back to mutant message downunder. to this group, anyone who is not part of their tribe, or at least living in the traditional aborigine way, is alien. they are so tuned into emotion and intent, so close to nature, and so in touch with what they call divine oneness, that people who aren't like them seem to be aliens, or mutated humans. their name for marlo morgan was mutant. their name for themselves was the Real People.

in a harsh climate, they survive without modern tools, of choice. they make fire by rubbing sticks together. they cook on hot rocks. they sleep on the ground. they don't bathe. they eat worms and insects and raw meat. they don't need much water in a climate often 100-plus degrees. they are well adapted to the australian outback.

marlo's translator is named ooota. he had been taken from his mother at birth and raised in urban australia. at 16 he had run away to find his roots. now about 30 and the only member of the real people who spoke english, his task was to fetch marlo, convince her to stay, and help her assimilate.

early on, marlo felt a special connection with a man who was the tribal elder, or chief. she describes looking into his black velvet eyes and feeling complete peace and security. later, she discovers an incredible connection.

to be continued...

vibrators now legal!

just in time for valentine's day, the statesman reports, "A federal appeals court has struck down a law that makes it a crime to sell or promote sex toys."

the decision was based on a 2003 supreme court decision that struck down a texas law prohibiting private consensual sex between two people of the same sex. that decision established that people have a broad constitutional right to sexual privacy.

the article continues, "The state also argued in a brief that Texas has legitimate 'morality based' reasons for the laws, which include 'discouraging prurient interests in autonomous sex and the pursuit of sexual gratification unrelated to procreation.'"

my understatement of the year: i'm glad the state lost that argument. imagining the state government wanting to peek in bedrooms statewide to see whether texas citizens had "prurient" interests in autonomous sex (what does that mean, anyway? masturbation? having sex outside of marriage?) or were having sex for pleasure, not procreation, sure puts a damper on my libido.

texas has come out of the dark ages on this issue, finally, and it took a new orleans court to create the change.

note: laws against sex toys are still in place in mississippi, alabama, and virginia.

the allium haiku collection

my friend katie raver challenged a group of NLPers to write a haiku celebrating vegetables. people responded! results compiled below.

THE ALLIUM HAIKU COlLECTION
Dedicated to everyone who's ever had garlic breath

Genus Allium:
Italian birth control
Bulbus and alone

Tom Carroll


hungry wok, hot oil
garlic, onions sacrifice
my salivation

Bill Johnson


sweet potato, yam,
delicious orange tubers,
who knows which is which?

Mary Ann Reynolds


What's that smell?

Speak, you freak leek geek.
You smell of earthy poot toots.
On second thought, hush!

Mary Oliver


Garlic is stinky,
But vampires don't bite my neck,
Nor does anyone else

Sherron Shoes


Hairy outside leaf
It's no wonder artichokes
So eat carefully

Alec Nicholls


Papered teardrops clasp
merely garlic scent, no more.
Cry, "Et tu, garlic?"

Kathleen Radebaugh


So little time for chives

Too late, I cried, "Hold,
Babe, keep your green about you!"
My 'taters are nude.

Mike Riggs


Onion Betrayal

Peel the layers....Why?
Only onion air inside.
It stinks, I decide.

Katie Raver


Toss out the onion.
Use a leek instead my friend.
Onion, with color.

Bill Hornback


Tried to write Haiku.
Could not get the rhythm right.
Gone to bed. Goodnight.

Bill Hornback


N L P veg play
Consumes fruitful time feeding
Happy healthy hearts

Alec Nicholls


Little black spider
Weaves webs of golden sunshine
And eats no onions.

Mike Bown


the vegan in winter

love onions, cabbage,
carrots--fruits of late harvest--
miss my tomatoes!

Sherry Bupp


On the chef's knife blade
garlic bits, parched barnacles.
I cooked, didn't clean.

Senor Jaime

Ajo, aglio.
However parsed in the world,
Allium iactum est.

Senor Jaime

redbuds!

the redbuds are blooming!

when i walked home today, i checked out the redbuds on 2nd between congress and brazos. there, on the north side of the street, west of the alley, those gorgeous red-purple flowers are JUST STARTING to bloom!

in fact, only one branch, the highest branch on the southernmost side of the easternmost tree, was blooming. but there it was, that beautiful color. i noticed, and god ain't pissed off, and life is good.

yeast allergy

one of the things i've wondered has to do with my allergy to two kinds of yeast. i've been tested and found allergic to both brewer's yeast and baker's yeast. and i have had--and cleared--candidiasis, an overgrowth of the yeast Candida albicans.

kefir (the dairy kind) is one of the best probiotic foods you can ingest, according to many nutrition experts. it has both probiotic bacteria and yeast that populate the gut and keep it healthy. (yogurt has only bacteria.)

i've been consuming kefir fairly regularly since spring 2007 when i felt but didn't know i had cleared candidiasis.

i've been puzzled, though, about what yeasts it contains. does it contain brewer's and baker's yeasts? should i be consuming it?

yesterday i did some online research that listed 10 kinds of yeast found in kefir. none of them are baker's yeast (Saccharomyces cerevisiae) or brewer's yeast (Saccharomyces cerevisiae and Torulaspora debrueckii).

in fact, two yeasts in kefir--Candida kefir and Candida pseudotropicalis--destroy Candida albicans, and two other yeasts--Saccharomyces kefir and Torula kefir--control exogenous yeasts, which i understand to mean any yeasts that are destructive in the digestive tract.

i've also wondered if i am allergic to other yeasts that aren't included in the tests. i don't know. since i don't seem to be suffering from consuming kefir several times a week, i think the benefits must outweigh the risks.

if anyone knows diffent, please comment.

osho quote for love

veruschka normandeau read this beautiful quote at the marriage blessings for both adele and chris, clarita riccobono's daughter and her fiance, and for lara and mat, fantasia london's daughter and HER fiance.

i loved it so much, i requested it by email, and veruschka graciously provided it.

Nothing ever repeats; everything is new every day. Go on searching and seeking each other, finding new ways of loving each other, finding new ways of being with each other. And each person is such an infinite mystery, inexhaustible, unfathomable, that it is not possible that you can ever say, "I have known her" or "I have known him". In fact the more you know, the more mysterious the other becomes. Then love is a constant adventure.
~Osho~

waiting for redbuds...

yesterday and today my energy has been low. low for me, that is. i still walked to and from work, but monday, i caught a dillo once i got to congress in the morning.

it seems like this happens every year in february. we have some spectacularly springlike days, with sunshine and temps in the high 70s/low 80s. people are outside soaking up the sun. the trails are crowded. lots of people are outdoors, riding bikes, walking, skateboarding, wearing shorts, flip flops, etc. you can feel spring in the air.

then winter comes back to bite us on the ass, and this time it really hurts, not like in december or january. ow! i just want to withdraw. stay home with a good book, make stew, take long hot baths, go to bed early, sleep in. the cold, the gusty north wind--enough already! let it be spring!

my paperwhites are finally blooming. they are later than usual. they've bloomed in mid-january before. the yellow jasmine blossoms near the street are popping out.

my redbud remains bloomless and leafless, though. it's on the north side, and i usually see them in bloom elsewhere before at my house.

february is always the month when i spot the first redbud in full bloom, and that is a major milestone that spring is coming, in my map of the seasons.

the north side of 2nd street, in the block just east of congress (where tesoro's and las manitas are/were) has some redbuds with unusual dark reddish/purple blossoms, i've noticed in years past. notice them, if you can (and say a little prayer that marriott leaves them there when it builds what it has to build).

here's a quote from the color purple:

i think it pisses god off when you walk by the color purple in a field and don't notice it.

maybe i'll take a detour on my way to/from work tomorrow and check those redbuds out.

allowing enlightenment

currently reading: emptiness dancing by adyashanti, a californian zen teacher.

one day when i was in maui, after i'd been there a few days, i was in my room at peace of maui lodge, and i was in motion. i was arranging my stuff, and i remember i was on my feet, in motion from right to left.

and suddenly i had no identity. no name, no history, no future, no drama, no emotion, no words, no story, no identity. just me, in motion, no baggage, just present. i experienced myself as being lighter. it wasn't unpleasant OR pleasant.

it was as if i had just stepped out of my identity for a couple of steps, like stepping out of a dress. yet something remained! the me in motion, my senses, awareness.

i'd never experienced that before that i can recall.

and then my mind kicked into gear and went, "wow, this is different!" and immediately began trying to find words to describe how it was different.

i'd been reading carlos casteneda books where he wrote about "losing the human form". i wondered if this experience was related. i don't know. it seems possible. in a conceptual framework, it was perhaps an experience more akin to a buddhist awakening than to shamanism, though those two paths share the emphasis on actual experience.

i am open for experiencing that again.

two firsts in biking around austin

i rode my bike to the farmer's market and jo's coffee shop on west second street mid-day. i used 4th street, which has a bike lane. then i went on the hike & bike trail to south lamar to bicycle sport shop, where i got an austin bike map and the cutest horn--it is a plastic parrot that sounds like a squeeze toy but mounts to the handlebar.

now i can be renegade biker PIRATE grandma! AAARGH, matey! i plan to take full advantage of becoming more eccentric in my old age. i'd like to push the edge on that. going carless at 55 feels like such a gleefully subversive act. i love it!

i like going by the dog park at auditorium shores. those dogs and their owners are having so much fun running around. some dogs retrieve things from the water. it's quite a scene on a mild winter weekend day like today.

later i rode to my friend clarita's near live oak and south congress. this is the first time i've biked on south congress. it's not bad until you hit the diagonal parking just south of guero's. you have to share a lane with cars for a few blocks. it was a little nerve-wracking, but i made it through.

after the very nice party to bless lara and mat on their upcoming wedding, i biked home going north on south congress after dark. i have a little red light that i clipped to the back of my backpack and set to a steady blink. i also have a white light on my handlebar that can blink or shine solidly. so i was visible. it was downhill most of the way and pretty easy. i got alert around the continental club about the possibility of diagonally parked cars suddenly pulling out, but all was cool.

i got my first bike at age 10, and it represented freedom. it feels like this now, the more i learn to negotiate austin via pedal power. to freedom!

new biofuel finding

the new york times today ran an article saying that the use of biofuels as an alternative to conventional petrochemical fuels actually worsens greenhouse gas emissions.

this is due to the fact that converting rainforest or scrubland to cropland where the biofuel materials are grown deprives the planet of natural "sponges" that can reduce carbon emissions. cropland absorbs less carbon. plus, burning and plowing contributes to greenhouse gases.

so... there goes my attraction to biofuel cars.

i learned from bruce hughes about a new car that runs on compressed air. the company, MDI based in luxembourg, that makes the miniCAT has a contract with tata motors, the ford of india. it should come onto the market in india later this year!

it just might be that these nonpolluting cars could come into the US market in the next few of years, selling for $5K or so.

and...they're very cute. cuter than a bug!

in my opinion, this is THE issue of our times--relearning how to live in harmony with our mother earth, which could easily shrug the human race off like a dog shakes off a flea. i don't want hannah to grow up and say, "what did you do about global warming, grandma?" i want her to connect with the earth and to respect it.

birthday dinner

i had such a sweet, low-key birthday celebration yesterday, i just want to write about it. lela, my daughter, wanted to take me out, and i chose casa de luz, one of my favorite restaurants. i sent an email to a dozen or so friends, just telling them i'd be having dinner there on my birthday and to join me if they'd like. no rsvp, no cards or gifts, just them.

lela picked me up in her lovely cabrio with her daughter and my granddaughter hannah in her car seat, and we drove to casa. lela had slept through two alarms and was late for her first physiology test that morning. she took the test and thought she did okay. it's her last difficult prereq for nursing school, and this is the second time she's signed up for the course. lela can pull it out when she needs to.

john gough, my dear RC partner of several years, was there when we arrived. john took the NLP intro workshop last weekend and is planning to take practitioner training. john suggested mixing some jalapeno sauce into the sweet potato and ginger soup. yum!

we've been emailing and will finally do our first RC session in two months next week. i'm looking forward to it. john's a rock for me.

then my dear friend clarita riccobono joined us, with news about her daughter adele's wedding and creative ideas about mixing in some sprouted beans into the soup as well as the hot sauce. i love being exposed to clarita's advanced olfactory and gustatory sensitivities, coming from a new orleans restaurant family. we agreed they (olfactory and gustatory senses) are an extension of kinesthetic sensing.

clarita also shared her difficulties remodeling a south austin duplex. she's changed her mind about it. live and learn, she said.

then zoe hill came with a haircut i hadn't seen, beautiful and stylish as always. she updated us on her health issues. she's been studying macrobiotic cooking in massachusetts and doing research and making plans for some huge lifestyle changes for the next year. zoe is dear and smart, and if anyone can pull off the recovery she wants, she can!

bruce hughes, lela's boyfriend and my much-appreciated next door neighbor, came for a little while, gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. he's got his own band now and plays gigs at the saxon on tuesday nights. i haven't heard his band yet but will soon. i like his songs, and he's got a fantastic tenor. plus, over 24,000 people have viewed his myspace profile! that's pretty famous!

clarita said in an aside to me that bruce and lela look good together. she sensed the sweetness between them.

hannah was her fully engaged self as usual. she got excited because her teacher, jim karabaic ("mr. k"), showed up at casa for his evening meal. she ran to greet him and later told everyone excitedly, "his name is jim!" she polished off two child's plates full of food and then asked about dessert. growing active girls need their fuel! lela started her on her homework of writing sentences with this week's spelling words, and she worked diligently and nearly got finished.

i got a coconut sorbet and a blueberry vanilla pudding for everyone to share. yum. we were all very pleased with the food.

it was perfect. just the right number of people so that i could connect with everyone and they could connect with each other.

notes on going carless

yesterday after work, i decided to route my walk by CVS at 12th and i-35 to get some contact solution. from 11th to 5th, i walked on the sidewalk right next to the northbound access road of 35.

i noticed it was very lonely. i was one of the few people on foot, and both i-35 and its access roads were jammed with people in cars.

it doesn't feel lonely to be on foot downtown. downtown is designed for walking. it was created when people walked or used horses. it is a seamlessly walkable area of austin.

but in places there are gaps. places where there's no sidewalk, only footpaths showing caliche, like between red river and 35 on 12th street. also between sabine and 35 on 4th.

and oddly, there are places where sidewalks don't match up from one block to the next. you have to wonder, what were these people thinking? "hey, i think i'll make my sidewalk...DIFFERENT! whee!" the block between san jacinto and trinity on 15th, north side, is like that. it even has a detour around a tree, but it is yards away from matching up with the sidewalks on adjacent blocks. go figure!

on a better note, i learned that capitol metro sells half-price bus passes at its store at 323 congress. i stopped in this morning and bought a $5 bus pass that gives me 20 free rides. then i caught a dillo up to 11th, which is free.

the mouse and the turquoise

from oceanofdharma.com, quotes from the late chogyam trungpa. today, besides being my birthday, is shambhala day, new year on the tibetan lunar calendar.


There is the Tibetan story of a certain monk who renounced his samsaric, confused life and decided to go live in a cave in order to meditate all the time. Prior to this he had been thinking continually of pain and suffering. His name was Ngonagpa of Langru, the Black-faced one of Langru, because he never smiled at all but saw everything in life in terms of pain. He remained in retreat for many years, very solemn and deadly honest, until one day he looked at the shrine and saw that someone had presented a big lump of turquoise as a gift to him. As he viewed the gift, he saw a mouse creep in and try to drag away the piece of turquoise. The mouse could not do it, so it went back to its hole and called another mouse. They both tried to drag away this big lump of turquoise but could not do it. So they squeaked together and called eight more mice that came and finally managed to drag the whole lump back into their hole. Then for the first time Ngonagpa of Langru began to laugh and smile. And that was his first introduction to openness, a sudden flash of enlightenment.
So a sense of humor is not merely a matter of trying to tell jokes or make puns, trying to be funny in a deliberate fashion. It involves seeing the basic irony of the juxtaposition of extremes, so that one is not caught taking them seriously, so that one does not seriously play their game of hope and fear.

From "A Sense of Humor" in CUTTING THROUGH SPIRITUAL MATERIALISM pp. 114-115.

All material by Chogyam Trungpa is copyright Diana J. Mukpo and used by permission.

using carshare for the first time

tuesday morning, i had orientation for new members of austin carshare. guess what? the car wasn't in its spot at 2nd & colorado, like it was supposed to be! felipe, who works for carshare, spent several minutes on his cell phone notifying various others about the situation and then went ahead and told us how it worked, showing on another vehicle where the electronic card reader is located.

i'm hoping this is as rare as he says it is.

there were 3 new members besides me getting oriented. felipe says it takes about 35 members to support a car, and that carshare should have a couple more cars soon. they're looking at a south austin location.

as an aside, i'd love to see them locate one closer to my home on the near eastside, maybe at saltillo plaza, which eventually will be a transportation hub, with a bike trail and light rail station as well as bus stop. there are a lot of lofts, condos, and apartments going up on the eastside, inhabited by people who want to live close-in. there are also a lot of bike riders, many many more than when i moved into the 'hood in 2000. carshare might actually do pretty well on the eastside.

anyway, at the orientation, felipe gave each of us an information packet with the member handbook and a couple of things to sign to square the deal. he explained how the program works and answered our questions.

i walked back to work from 4th & congress, one of the carshare spots, to see how long it would take me. 19 minutes.

i tried to make a reservation online tuesday afternoon, evening, and wednesday morning, but couldn't get in. it didn't recognize my login info. i finally called the reservation number (phone reservations are $1, online it's free). it took the operator some time, and she put me on hold for several minutes and then said i may have been billed, credited, and billed again...

i'm thinking "first-time glitches"... with my fingers crossed.

so i had a reservation from 11:45-1:30 wednesday for my noon chiropractic appointment. i left work at 11:30 and walked to 4th & congress. that took 20 minutes. i swiped the electronic key against the reader to unlock the scion and got in. it took me awhile to find the ignition key. i adjusted the seat and rear view mirror and drove to my appointment. no problem! the car handled well.

afterwards, i stopped at whole foods for celebratory potato soup!

when i got back to the spot a few minutes before 1:30, there was a young man impatiently waiting. he said he was late for a doctor appointment! well, excuse me, but i had the car until 1:30, and there's a 15-minute grace period after that! it's not my fault that he was late.

anyway, i swiped the reader again to check the car in and took a bus to 11th street, walking through the capitol to get back to work.

it takes a bit longer than if i had my own car in the parking garage. with carshare, i have to use little more leave time for errands and appointments during the day, so that's a "cost". i imagine the health benefits of walking 15 miles a week to and from work probably outweigh the cost.

the monetary cost for this expedition was probably about $10. i'll find out when i get my bill in march and post it here.

i'm making an appointment for cranio-sacral therapy, and i need to take my cat to the vet. will use carshare and report back on those adventures.

so, so far, so good. a few glitches but nothing major.

my birthday

today's my 55th birthday, halfway between 50 and 60, the very middle of middle age. i feel pretty darn happy with my life. it's not perfect, but i like who i am and what i do, and i intend to keep growing into the awakened being that i am.

i've invited friends and family to join me this evening at casa de luz, about 6:30 or so, for a low-key birthday gathering and healthy dinner. no RSVP, no gifts or cards, just your presence is the present!

retest of food sensitivities--good news

i don't have candida!

and i'm sensitive to fewer foods than last year, with some sensitivities remaining the same, some gone--and some new ones.

first, the candida. early last year i tested "weakly positive" with a 1:3000 antibody titer ratio. 3000 is the borderline between negative and weakly positive. i followed the strict candida diet for 2 months and remained influenced by it for the rest of the year.

after a couple of months, i could tell a difference--like being able to read really difficult books that i wouldn't have even attempted previously. there were other positive health changes, but i'm not sure whether to attribute them to clearing candida or avoiding toxic foods. brain fog seems to clearly be attributed to candida. i FELT like i had probably cleared the excess candida, but didn't KNOW.

now i have scientific proof that the candida in my body is in balance. the antibody titer ratio on january 16 2008 was 1:500. yea! huge improvement!

now about the food sensitivities.

the ones that are the same are:
baker's yeast +3
brewer's yeast +3
wheat +1
kidney bean +1

they also did a gluten antibody assay, since wheat showed up 2 years in a row. i don't have gluten intolerance or celiac, just a sensitivity to anything wheat. i eat spelt bread (yeastless, of course), and...now i can have oats.

the foods that i was sensitive to last year but am no longer:
oat +1
pinto bean +1
white potato +1
radish +1
sugar cane +1
tomato +1

i stopped at whole foods and got some potato soup to celebrate. i can now have refried pinto beans and salsa with tomatoes. i can have oatmeal. but not too often... dr. cynthia schade said it would still be wise to limit servings of these formerly toxic items to once every 4 days. no problem!

i had already decided that if i turned out to no longer be sensitive to sugar cane, i would still avoid sugar, since it has no nutritive value and it feeds candida, and i want to keep my body balanced and not have to do that stringent candida diet again! i'm used to using stevia and agave syrup anyway now.

these are the new foods that i'm sensitive to, and i'm not sure how they turned up, since i don't eat them often:
amaranth +1
cherry +2
pea +1
snapper +1

i'll miss the cherries when they're in season. other than that, it's not that big a deal.

sad to say, i learned today that the state of texas' insurance, blue cross blue shield, is no longer covering the cost of the immuno1 bloodprint food sensitivity assay. the cost is about $550. so...next year, i'll do it out of pocket, or just do challenge testing on my own.

keep love in your heart

keep love in your heart. a life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. the consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and richness to life that nothing else can bring.

~ oscar wilde

going carless

i have done something evolutionary. i joined austin carshare. i plan to get rid of my 1991 miata, which has served me well for many years, and convert to being a walker, biker, user of public transportation, user of carshare, and appreciative ride sharer with friends and family.

when i returned from maui, my car wouldn't start. i walked to work for a couple of days, then had the car towed to the mechanic's when it wouldn't hold a charge.

i love walking from my mechanic's at i-35 & 38th to work at 15th & congress. in fact, i love walking to and from work, period. i love being in my moving body, connecting to nature, connecting to the city, connecting with the people i encounter, even if just to make eye contact and smile (or not). i don't get those little perks of being a living human being when i'm driving a car.

when the car died again after running for about a week, i figured it was nearing its end. the miata was feeling and showing its age--rattles, a cracked bumper, threadbare upholstery, exhaust stains. for the last few years, i've been crossing my fingers when i took it in for inspection.

also, it only had two seats, a real limitation since my family has grown. although i loved my miata, i didn't want to replace it with another one.

i researched used cars and realized that before i bought another car, i wanted to really check out alternatives. i had not had to make car payments for many years. even though i was averaging 28 mpg with the miata, gas prices, i imagine, will just keep going up. i'm concerned about the environment and want to keep emissions down. and...i just got back from maui, where i was more physically active than usual, and i really enjoyed that. even though my maui vacation ended [sob], hmm, i figured i could continue to feel pretty great by being more physically active in austin.

i remembered reading about austin carshare when it first started in austin, maybe a year ago, and looked it up online, www.austincarshare.org. times have changed.

i live close in, just east of downtown austin, and i work in the capitol complex 1.5 miles from home. the weather in austin is pretty decent most of the time for walking and biking. i need a car most for hauling stuff like groceries home, and for getting places too far to walk or bike or take a bus to, and when the weather is really really bad.

so i decided to give it a try, to commit to using carshare for 4 months, through the end of may. i don't have much to lose when i consider the wellness benefits of walking and biking. i'll keep tabs on my transportation expenses and compare costs. and i will report on my experiences using this blog.

at the end of may i will figure out if i really NEED to buy a used car (and i'll have more money saved for one) or if i want to keep using carshare. when i joined, i made my $300 deposit into a donation, so already i've helped an organization i like and i get a tax write-off. the monthly membership cost is $10, and i pay $4/hour and $.44/mile for actual use.

stay tuned!

subscribe to poetry

panhala sends me a poem with a photo regularly. it's always a pleasure to receive in my inbox and discover what poet, poem, and photo they've selected for that day. http://www.panhala.net/Archive/Index.html, scroll down to subscribe.

today the poem is this lovely yearning prayer by octavio paz:

sandstone

door of being, dawn and wake me,
allow me to see the face of this day,
allow me to see the face of this night,
all communicates, all is transformed,
arch of blood, bridge of the pulse,
take me to the other side of this night,
where I am you, we are us,
the kingdom where pronouns are intertwined,

door of being: open your being
and wake, learn to be ....

~ Octavio Paz ~
(Sunstone/Piedra de Sol, translated by Eliot Winberger)

touched by maui's mana

the kingdom of maui in the hawaiian islands is the most beautiful place i've ever been. going to maui is like falling in love! you can't stop smiling! and it just gets better.

it might start with the ordinary act of breathing, when you realize the air is perfumed with the scents of fragrant flowers, and that with every breath, you are inhaling the pheromones of tropical plants that are rampantly going mad for pollenation and reproduction! it can't help but make you feel foolish and happy.

or it might start with the feel of your skin on this island. the temperatures are moderate all the time, except when you go to the high elevations. in most places, there's no need for heating or air conditioning. people leave their windows open. it rains a lot (except on the dry side), but it is usually a misty rain, not thunderstorms. it can be warm, but not oppressively so. most of the time, it's very comfortable to wear flip-flops, shorts, and a tank top, or a swimsuit and pareo. you might take a hoodie or shawl with you, just in case you encounter a cool breezy spot. "balmy" is a word invented to describe the skin-feel of maui.

or it might start with your feet being on the ground of maui, which is part of the most remote island group in the world. it being a volanic island, with an "active" volcano (that hasn't erupted since 1790), you are standing on some of the newest earth on this planet, earth that comes up from the depths, from the mantle of our planet, the mantle that is so hot, it melts rock. you are standing on fresh, rich minerals. it can't help but have an influence.

or could it start with the rainbows? in my 3 weeks on maui, i saw rainbows nearly every day. they were especially prevalent driving between upcountry and the north shore. partial rainbows, full rainbows, double rainbows, sometimes with brilliant, dense colors... not to mention moonbows... i was lucky enough to see a full moonbow on christmas eve 2007 as one of lori's dinner guests on the deck of amara pagano's house in maui. moonbows are silvery white. they can only be seen when the moon is near full and low in the sky behind you, and precipitation is present in the direction you are looking. i felt extremely privileged to have witnessed that moonbow!

or could it start with the abundance of maui? the tropical climate, volcanic soil, and nourishing rains make it an incredibly verdant fertile place for plants. there's tropical fruit everywhere, so much that in places, it falls on the ground and gets run over by cars. no one could ever go hungry in maui--there's coconut, mango, pineapple, papaya, lilikoi, guava, citrus, avocado, cute and tasty little bananas, even exotics like rambutan, sweetsop, soursop, durian, breadfruit, and many more! just about anyone who owns property has fruit growing there, and many homes along the highways in rural areas have honor-system roadside fruit stands.

the love affair with maui could definitely start with its visual appeal. on a map it looks like a sea turtle seen from above, minus fins. on the ground, it is like being on the torso of a huge pregnant goddess, with the volcano haleakala being the hugely swollen belly, the west maui mountains being multiple breasts, and the central flat and narrow isthmus separating upper and lower body. from the ground, it is hard to avoid seeing mountains or volcano or both and hard to avoid seeing the surrounding sea. in some places you can see both north and south coasts. upcountry you can see both, and see the weather coming in as well. and if you're lucky enough to be atop haleakala at a clear moment, how blessed could you get, to be able to look down see all of maui and the surrounding smaller islands and look across the channel to see the big island and its volcanoes in the distance? i'm going back for that!

the energy in maui is definitely different. it's softer, subtler, more sensual, more giving, more vibrant, more alive.

and i haven't even said anything about the things you can do there. just being there is enough to change your energy, and on top of that, you can go to any of the 81 beaches, some with colored sand(!), where you can swim, snorkel, dive, sunbathe, and just feast your eyes on the restful oceanic horizon and watch the waves roll in. (speaking of which, pe'ahi, the wave that the surfers call "jaws", is at maui.) there are coral reefs with fabulously brilliant fish, turtle "cleaning stations", dolphins, and whales. there's surfing, windsurfing, boogie boarding, parasailing, hang-gliding... hiking in many environments from rainforest to lava cliffs to volcanic cinder cones... horseback riding (maui has many horses, and one part of it is dry, with cactus and mesquite, like so much of texas)... ziplines... you get the picture. it would take years to exhaust the recreational opportunities maui offers.

and then there's the road to hana. you cannot miss this if you go to maui! take a couple of hours to drive the 35 miles, curve after curve, following the rugged and verdant eastern coast, with frequent waterfalls and breathtaking views. stop often! this is the part where you get absolutely crazy in love, with your eyes crossed and tongue hanging out! be still, my heart!

then there's the culture. a beautiful poetic language coming back from near extinction. the accomplishments of people who explored and settled the pacific islands in canoes. it was a 30-day journey north for them to reach the hawaiian islands. how did they do it? how did they know where to find them, or even that they were there at all? navigation is a nearly lost art, now being revived.

the most important hawaiian word you can learn is mana. according to wikipedia, "Mana is a traditional term that refers to a concept among the speakers of Oceanic languages, including Melanesians, Polynesians, and Micronesians. It is an impersonal force or quality that resides in people, animals, and inanimate objects and that instills in the appreciative observer a sense of respect or wonder. In anthropological discourse, mana as a generalized concept has attained a significant amount of interest; often understood as a precursor to formal religion. It has commonly been interpreted as 'the stuff of which magic is formed,' as well as the substance of which souls are made."

maui has wondrous mana. i'm going back.