a valentine's story to warm your heart

my friend lakshmi's mother died last year. she and lakshmi's dad were married for at least 40 years, and this year was his first year alone.

lakshmi sent the following email today. thank you, lakshmi, for opening my heart by sharing this.

Hi Folks,

A year ago January my mom died. A month later my dad called me and asked if I would be his Valentine. This year I decided to call him first and asked him to be mine. He was very happy about that and told me about his day.

He said he had been missing my mom really badly. He also said that he didn't really want to complain about it because he was thinking about all the men and women he knew over the years that lost their husbands and wives. He lives in a small town of about 650 people. Then he said he got an idea.

He went to a woman in town that was selling flowers for Valentine's day. He did his best to remember all the people that lost their spouses the last few years and made a list of somewhere between 50 and 75 people. He then had this lady and her delivery person deliver a single stemmed rose, with a card that said "To my Valentine....Love....." and put the person's spouse's name on the card. He told the lady not to let anyone know where these came from. He also made sure it was delivered in a spirit of love so they would not think it was some kind of joke.

This was yesterday afternoon and my dad was feeling quite moved instead of so bad after doing this. Then he called me later. He arrived home and on his front door was a long stemmed rose and a box of chocolates with a note that read "Happy Valentine's Day, My Love, Beverly". "My Love" was the phrase they used when they gave each other gifts and is inscribed on the inside of their wedding rings.

Dad says it didn't matter who put that on his door, it felt like it was from my mom. He said he cried like a baby. He said you rarely get to see how what you do for another person makes them feel....and he got to experience it that day. He also said he would never believe it if you told him that would be the best Valentine's day of his life....because his Valentine was not there. And this was the best Valentine's day of his life.

I was trying not to cry while I was listening to him as I walked through Whole Foods. I had to hang up for a little bit. I thought about all the ways I deal with heartbreak....EFT, dance, therapy, etc. And I thought about my dad who lives in a small town with none of that....and how brilliant it was that he dealt with his grief in this way. And it made me think of Valentine's day in a different way that I have before....as a day to celebrate Love and the Heart and opening the heart....no matter what your circumstances are...or who is with you or who is gone.

Love,
Lakshmi