allowing enlightenment

currently reading: emptiness dancing by adyashanti, a californian zen teacher.

one day when i was in maui, after i'd been there a few days, i was in my room at peace of maui lodge, and i was in motion. i was arranging my stuff, and i remember i was on my feet, in motion from right to left.

and suddenly i had no identity. no name, no history, no future, no drama, no emotion, no words, no story, no identity. just me, in motion, no baggage, just present. i experienced myself as being lighter. it wasn't unpleasant OR pleasant.

it was as if i had just stepped out of my identity for a couple of steps, like stepping out of a dress. yet something remained! the me in motion, my senses, awareness.

i'd never experienced that before that i can recall.

and then my mind kicked into gear and went, "wow, this is different!" and immediately began trying to find words to describe how it was different.

i'd been reading carlos casteneda books where he wrote about "losing the human form". i wondered if this experience was related. i don't know. it seems possible. in a conceptual framework, it was perhaps an experience more akin to a buddhist awakening than to shamanism, though those two paths share the emphasis on actual experience.

i am open for experiencing that again.