there, i said it

okay, valentine's day has come and gone. this year i spent it alone. i am okay with that. i hope it won't always be the case. i am grateful i'm not in a miserable relationship. today i feel extreme gratitude that i am not in a relationship with a man who has promised to be sexually exclusive and yet has broken that promise.

i greatly dislike womanizing men, unfaithful men, dishonest men. i would rather just end the relationship and walk away. and i have done that. twice. it's not fun, but it's the cleanest, clearest thing i know how to do in response to a boyfriend of mine behaving like that. that kind of behavior is so...inconsiderate.

i want to put this out there: men, if you behave like that, if that's how you deal with your relationship problems, do not even waste one second of my time! there's simply no excuse.

i don't understand why men behave that way. all i can figure is that it's a passive aggressive way of breaking up, getting the other person to do the dirty work while you protest that you couldn't help it, something just came over you.

or maybe it's me, or maybe it's just the human condition.

i love the quote below. that is how i felt at the end of each relationship, that these people just didn't see ME. and i, of course, did the same. love can be so blind.

We are like sculptors, constantly carving out of others the image we
long for, need, love or desire, often against reality, against their benefit,
and always, in the end, a disappointment, because it does not fit them.

~~ Anais Nin