2010 tarot reading

i did my annual tarot reading late last night. this year i used the osho zen deck for the first time. i've used the crowley/thoth deck before. i love this new deck!

i've never posted a tarot reading before. it'll be interesting at the end of 2010 to go back and read this. i kind of believe it, and kind of not. i drew these specific cards using this specific (celtic cross) layout to get a general reading for 2010, although i could only draw these cards in the moment i drew them, and they reflect that. any other time, i would draw different cards. you would draw different cards.

for whatever it's worth, here's what i drew last night.

issue: breakthrough (major arcana)

enhancing: playfulness (page of fire/wands)

unconscious influences: the Source (ace of fire/wands)

conscious influences: the outsider (5 of rainbows/disks)

old patterns: the creator (king of fire/wands)

new patterns: participation (4 of fire/wands)

feelings and attitudes about issue: letting go (8 of water/cups)

attracting from outside: intensity (knight of fire/wands)

desires/denials: control (king of clouds/swords)

outcome/key: morality (queen of clouds/swords)

what seems significant:

• gut impression: this is a promising, interesting, and curious reading, not without challenges.
• the only major arcana card i drew is the issue, breakthrough. meditation is the method, affirming what i've already begun. 
• half the cards were in the suit of fire/wands (still mentally translating thoth to osho zen). this suit is about action and response, following my gut instincts instead of mind or emotions.
• i drew one card each in rainbows/disks (earth) and water/cups (emotions). 
• i drew six "court" cards--page, knight, kings, queen, ace. these represent opportunities for mastery over the elements they represent. that's a lot of mastery!
• i can't think of a better unconscious influence than the Source! i can let the Source decide where my potential lies and relax there.
• lots of harmonics here to explore: the outsider and participation, playfulness and breakthrough, attracting intensity, desire/denial of control
• the issue (breakthrough) and outcome (morality) are an especially interesting combination.

now i'm going to meditate!

Come out from the shadow of your family tree!

Come out from the shadow of your family tree!

This Family Constellation Workshop cuts to the heart of generational issues,
shifting inner images from what is to what’s possible, transforming obstacles
into more health and well-being. Based on the work of Bert Hellinger, this workshop
offers a rare opportunity to uncover hidden patterns, healing past, present, and future generations.

Led by Judy Smith, who facilitates workshops and training in S. Africa and the U.S.
http://www.emotionalgenetics.com/index.html

Sat., July 18, 10-5 pm
Sun., July 19, 10-4 pm
NiaSpace
3212 S. Congress
Austin, TX

Cost: $325
$100 deposit
(or pay in full July 18)

Mail deposit to:
Mary Ann Reynolds
905 E. 2nd St.
Austin, TX 78702
512-507-4184
mareynolds@grandecom.net

CEUs available for MSWs, LPCs, and MFCs

Suggested preparation: Research your family going back three generations,
noting significant and traumatic events. Also you may read Berthold Ulsamer's
Healing Power of the Past, available on Amazon.com.

Questions? Call Judy at (903) 534-6263 or email her at info@emotionalgenetics.com.

aahhh, juneteenth

i'm home today because it is an unusual state holiday, juneteeth, the anniversary of the slaves in texas finding out---THREE YEARS LATER---about lincoln's emancipation proclamation.

the 81st legislative session is over, ended june 1, and life is returning to normal, whatever that is. a special session is on the horizon so they can finish unfinished business, but right now i do not care one whig.

i am sooo grateful for this day off.

this past session, my third at the legislative budget board, was a hard one for people at my agency, and maybe people at other agencies, but especially at my agency, because two of my fellow employees DIED during the session.

in the 20-something years of institutional memory of my longer-tenured colleagues, this is the first time an active employee has died. and not just one active employee, but two.

was it a coincidence that these deaths came during the session? that is unanswerable unless you can read god's mind. but session are stressful, and that could have contributed...

one colleague died in april. he had a seizure and was in the hospital where a week later, on Easter Sunday, he had a fatal stroke. the medical professionals discovered after the fact that he had had a brain tumor.

i didn't know him well at all--we bumped into each other in the kitchen occasionally. i was told that in the period before the seizure, he complained about being tired. but who wasn't making that same complaint?

a month later, another colleague didn't come into work one day. no one answered when they called. a couple of people went to her home. they called the police, who entered and found her in bed, dead. she had had a heart attack in her sleep.

what was particularly hard about this death was that this woman was still working at 68, putting in time to be eligible for a retirement pension, saving her pennies for retirement, and SHE DIDN'T EVEN GET TO ENJOY IT.

after my boss told me of her death, my second thought was "Way to go!" dying in yoru sleep is nice. and...you don't have to keep working under stressful conditions. reminds me of the humorous coffee mug with the statement, "I'm not calling in sick, I'm calling in dead".

don't get me wrong, there are perks, the main one being that i work in a pretty good office with a lot of really cool people, and we do get comp time for all that overtime we put in during sessions, so you get extra time off. if i use all my comp time and accrued vacation time this year, it adds up to about 7 paid weeks off from work. not bad.

the worst thing about the job is being at the mercy of the legislature's schedule, which is to meet from january through may in odd-numbered years and then do little in the interim. maybe have a special session or two, campaign for re-election, etc. that doesn't really affect me.

who came up with this crazy idea of meeting for 5 months every other year? my hunch is that way back when texas was first a state, the "founding fathers" decided that because it's such a big state, and there were no planes, trains, or automobiles, it would be efficient to condense legislation time so legislators could go back to their communities and farm, practice law, or do whatever else they did to make a living. (they still only get paid about $7 grand a year--yes, you do have to be rich to run the state government.)

so the schedule has been like that since 1845. and now we DO have planes, trains, and automobiles...

i ask you: people, does this make any sense? not to me it doesn't. count in deaths, stress, broken marriages, neglect of children, illness, exhaustion, nervous breakdowns, overtime and comp time, utilities from working late nights, etc., and it just doesn't seem very humane to me.

how do you change this? well. i asked. (you knew i would do that, right?)

this is what i learned. there would have to be a referendum, and the voters in texas would have to approve a change in the schedule. and that has been tried before, and the voters voted it down.

people, i'm asking you, if this ever comes up for a vote again, vote FOR change, not against it. i beg of you.

the end is in sight

the legislative session ends on june 1, and i (one of many) am looking forward to it very much, to having more time and focus to communicate on this, my blog, to catch up on yard work and gardening, and most of all, the downtime i am craving.

what's so special about downtime?

for me, it's a chance to let my mind wander freely, unfocused on any specific task--unless my mind happens to come up with a task that is pleasing to me!

it's a chance to let my body rest and find its own rhythms between activity and receptivity, doing and being.

it's a chance to reconnect with nature--sunshine, fresh air, rain, clouds, sunrises, sunsets, birds, animals, insects (especially their awesome noises!), to tune into the changes through each day and the progression of seasons.

i'm looking forward to swimming in barton springs, to getting up early to beat the heat and enjoy the aura of early morning.

what about you? what do you like about having downtime?

sorry it's been so long

work is heating up. my first square foot garden is going well. 3 more to fill with soil and plant with summer veggies and herbs. may make a couple more boxes for flowers!

i just finished reading Spiritual Enlightenment: The Damnedest Thing by Jed McKenna.

current book: A Path with Heart, by Jack Kornfield, co-founder of Insight Meditation. Kornfield has more heart than McKenna, but both have valid information on spiritual enlightenment. Kornfield makes the process seem more worthwhile, though; McKenna focuses more on what he defines as the end of the process--nondual awareness. I do wonder what he'd have to say now, how he continued his growth.

both books are worthwhile reading.

sunday after a rainy morning reading in bed, i went out and took photos of art on the east side--paintings both commercial and decorative. will post soon.

lela is in europe, hannah is in branson, MO, kathleen is in orlando, going to cornwall in england tomorrow i believe.

and i'm here in austin.

testing

testing to see if Facebook imports blog posts

first day, clean space

today was my first day back in the office since noon on dec. 23. i really appreciated the time off--the better to relax and appreciate friends, family, solitude, nature, and relaxation and to store up peace and harmony for the next five months when i'll be working hard doing my job, publishing the texas state budget.

i slept as much as i wanted to, which wasn't a lot more than usual, but it was nice to shut off the alarm and curl up and doze.

i felt ready for work today. brought in my new 2009 martha graham calendar and food for breakfast and lunch for the week. i shopped last night for yogurt, bananas, blueberries, salad greens, red pepper, avocadoes, cucumber, carrots, salad dressing. got some roasted red pepper and tomato soup in case i need a break from salad lunches.

it helped that i had cleared and cleaned my work area before i left for the holidays. i love coming into a clean, spacious office when i've been away, the same way i love coming home to a clean house after a vacation.

speaking of cleaning house, i did a lot of that during my time off. purification, cleansing, setting boundaries, defining, preparing.

the outer work and inner work somehow harmonized.

beauty alert: monday night sky

The crescent moon will be adjacent to Venus and Jupiter. You may see some earthshine too.

Look to the southwest as soon as it starts getting dark, about 5:30 Austin time.

Thanks, Kathleen, for alerting me to this.

Click the title of this post to read about it.

blind leading blind

yesterday morning i was driving to work, late already, stopped at the red light at the northbound i-35 access road and 15th street, cars in front of me, behind me, and to the sides.

i noticed a young black man with a white cane trying to--i couldn't tell if he was trying to cross the access road or 14th street. he wasn't in the right place to do either and was wandering into a lane of traffic. he'd go back and try again, facing a different direction.

i rolled down my passenger window and yelled, "what are you trying to do?" he came over and said he couldn't understand me, so i rephrased my question, "where are you trying to go?"

he said he was trying to get to the school for the blind. that's on 45th, quite a distance.

"hop in," i said, mindful of cars waiting behind me and the green light and a long difficult journey for him ahead.

tried to call my boss and tell her i'd be late, but my cell phone had run down. oh, well, nothing is pressing.

nathaniel was his name, and he was from up north by his speech, not a texas accent. indiana, he said.

he said he had lost his cane, and sure enough, i noticed he was using a length of white PVC pipe as a cane. he said he'd been up all night. he said he got disability payments but had to have an annual review, and his check was being held until the paperwork on that was completed. sounded plausible.

he had green eyes that either looked straight ahead or were closed.

he was going to the school for the blind to get a new cane and also see if he could get a few bucks until his check came through. he lived in an eastside rooming house that cost $12 per night, and he had no money. he was hungry and tired.

with a reframe of the problem, i ended up giving him $15, telling him it was a ten and 5 ones. he asked me not to give him the money in front of people near his rooming house. he asked which bill was on top.

he asked me to take him back to his rooming house. he said he could call the school for the blind and they'd mail him a cane, which would arrive tomorrow. he told me to turn on MLK, which we were approaching.

i asked him how he'd gotten in this situation. he repeated the story about the disability check being late. i meant in a broader sense... and then we got to 13th and chicon where he had asked me to take him. another young black man was there who spoke to him after he got out of the car. it's a "hangout" area, the core of the old black community in austin.

so my $15 got him a place to stay for 2 nights and $3 to eat with. he could sleep, eat, and solve the other immediate problem, the cane.

OR...(and this has happened before with "out-of-place people" on the east side with fantastic stories all ending with a desire for me to give them money) i got scammed.

if the latter, he went to a lot of trouble, and i'm a fool.

i decided i'd rather be a fool than ignore a blind person wandering through traffic.

when i let him out, he said he'd see me again in heaven.

lizard liberation

i got a couple of bags of charcoal out of my shed and put them in my car trunk to take with me to the nightwalking workshop at buescher s.p. this past weekend.

i unloaded them but ended up not using them.

when i was loading my trunk for the journey home, i saw a lizard in my trunk. it looked like the lizards that live in my shed--mottled, textured, reddish brown, slow moving. it hid from me and the light.

i worried that it might not come out, that it might die in my trunk.

when i got home and unloaded my trunk, i saw it scurry out of the trunk and disappear and felt relieved.

2012

my daughter told me that about once a year, she has a dream about the end of the world. this month she dreamed about 2012, that portentous year in which the aztecs predicted a momentous shift of some sort would occur. it's interpreted as a major change in world order, an apocalypse, an asteroid crashing into earth, aliens taking earthlings aboard their spaceship, a great shift in consciousness, spirituality, psychic connection. (from wikipedia)

lela dreamed that it was winter solstice, 2012, and the earth changed the direction of her rotation. it took a couple of hours. some people were not affected, some got dizzy, some passed out.

the earth's axis also changed, resulting in a shift in seasons. winter became summer, summer became winter. this wreaked havoc on agriculture. people in developed countries managed to survive with processed food. people in poor countries were devastated. it took about a year to adjust, in lela's dream.

whatever it is, i believe it could be metaphoric for a shift in consciousness.

i've been reading The Field. one of the key points is that in western culture, we still believe and behave for the most part with the principles of newtonian physics. yet quantum physics has gone way beyond. everything is connected to everything, intent can influence outcomes and even the past, group energy is powerful, distant healing works, the more coherent influences the less coherent to become more coherent, et cetera.

when i finish reading this book, i intend to post its key points here. look for it!

i joined facebook a few days ago, and the connectivity is pretty amazing. you can see what your friends have posted, who became their friends, their posts and their friends' posts, etc. it's a big network, and every interactive.

maybe this is the paradigm shift occurring now, and the peak will occur in 2012. maybe it's a critical mass of people understanding that we are all connected that will really change the world. 2012 will be an election year; obama will be finishing his first term as president.

2012 could also be the year the earth reaches her "tipping point" and responds violently to the changes humans have wrought. air-water-soil pollution, mining and drilling, managing the oceans badly, chemical and fossil-fuel based agriculture, chemical and fossil-fuel based lifestyles, deforestation...

and maybe 2012 will bring both a shift in consciousness and the earth "talking back".

we shall see.

deleting text messages and photos on razr

my razr cell phone's text message inbox was full. every time i opened the phone, it said "messages full".

i could not figure out how to delete old messages. same with old photos. delete wasn't on any menu that i could find, not even settings.

i googled "razr delete messages". i read post after post and didn't know what they were talking about--tech talk way over my head, cables, etc. i kept reading and saw a mention of an "options key". i didn't know what that was. it inspired me to explore my phone.

i figured out in a blinding stroke of insight is that the middle key (-) is has multiple functions. from the main screen, it lets you select a menu, say "messages" or "multimedia". once you get to a message or photo you want to delete, press the middle key again. it becomes the options key!

so to delete text messages, from the main screen, press the middle key, scroll to Messages, select, scroll to Message Inbox, select, scroll to a message you want to delete, press Read.

now click the middle key again. Delete is the first option. press Select.

you've just deleted your first text message!