favorite modalities

referring to the long list of healing/energy/growth modalities listed in the previous post, i thought i'd list those that have made the most difference in my life.

some have become part of my lifestyle: yoga, meditation, acupuncture, journaling, food awareness, and dreamwork.

others have been tremendously helpful given situations peculiar to my life: waking the tiger for PTSD and NUCCA for scoliosis.

two are just fascinating--i have read books and learned a lot, and i would love to plunge into the depths--probably will when the stars are aligned right: Enneagram and LifePrints.

and then there's NLP. i've completed practitioner training and will soon start my master practitioner training. NLP has a huge body of work and is very practical. that makes it worthy of study.

not that there's anything wrong with the modalities i didn't mention here... these are just those i have resonated with the most. i feel grateful for all the experience.

change, resolutions, and intent

Today's New York Times has an article about New Year's resolutions. The majority of them fail, and the article explores why.

Particularly interesting were the 4 steps of effective personal change:
1. Start with big changes, not small ones. Quick, noticeable results are inspiring.
2. Act like the person you are trying to become.
3. Reframe the situation.
4. Don't do it alone.

NLP can help a lot with the middle two steps.

It also helps to want something more than you want what you're trying to change from, like enjoying each breathful of clean air more than you want that cigarette. Spend time developing the pleasure of breathing.

There's a little plug for hypnosis, although the woman quoted said it didn't work! Rather, it was "something the hypnotist said" that worked. Go figure!

Click the title to go to the article.

I was at Dharma Yoga for a class today. Camilla talked about the difference between resolutions and intent.

Resolutions sound like imposing your will. Intent is more like a direction for your energy. We set an intent for class.

I wish I could remember more of what she said, but this is what stuck.

riff on "the map is not the territory"

One of the basic presuppositions of NLP is "the map is not the territory." That presupposes that there is a map and there is a territory, and they are separate or different.

I came across a new take in Ken Wilber's A Brief History of Everything.

"The mapmaker, the self, the thinking and knowing subject, is actually a product and a performance of that which it seeks to know and represent....the map is itself a performance of the territory it is trying to map."

Wilber says this nondualistic approach doesn't deny the representation paradigm altogether; but it does say that at a much deeper level, thought itself *cannot* deviate from the currents of the Kosmos, because thought is a product and performance of those very currents.

Thus, thought is the true Tao from which one cannot deviate.

"And as long as we are caught in merely trying to correct our maps, then we will miss the ways in which both correct and incorrect maps are equally expressions of Spirit."

back from maui

.
arrived back home on tuesday after two full, glorious, intense, beautiful, inspiring, transforming weeks in maui.

highlights:

being in maui again

staying at peace of maui again

eating ahi shoyu poke again

going to savers in kahului again

spending 6 days with katie and keith, taking them to a couple of beaches

camping with them for 3 nights at 8000 feet on haleakala

catching two sunrises and a sunset from the summit

seeing the shadow of haleakala fall across land, sea, and molokai

seeing the tops of mauna loa and mauna kea on the big island above the clouds from haleakala

hearing a man spontaneously begin chanting in hawaiian at the first sunrise

hearing nick goodness tell the legends of maui and pele

bird songs at hosmer's grove

meeting up with fellow travelers at milagro's in paia

driving to hana with glenda behind the wheel--she couldn't stop smiling

stopping at the kea'nae peninsula to see the waves crashing against rocks, and then seeing the full moon just above the horizon

meeting up with the rest of the group of 15 at wai'anapanapa state park

setting up my tent above pai'loa beach with an ocean view and soundtrack

all the learning and practices from tom best, my teacher

the heartbeat, birth canal, turtle walk, big mama, koki beach, hamoa beach, alelele waterfall, waimoku waterfall (and the banyan tree and bamboo forest on the way)

painting mud streaks on my face, jumping out and shaking a bamboo branch and yelling at fellow travelers on the way up to waimoku

getting up EARLY and watching the sunrise, especially starting when it was completely dark

doing sun salutations on the beach, on the rocks, on the grass

the talking rocks at the beach

hawaii night at the hana aloha festival and all the wonderful hula and music

being invited to fake the hula along with a singer who was also a great hula dancer at the bar at the hana maui hotel

being told by bobbi that she and tom noticed i looked like i was floating when they saw me walking--being that relaxed and centered, and having all the bodywork pay off

all the great energy surges, feeling deeply present and alive

driving the hana highway back with glenda, who couldn't stop smiling

stopping in paia at mandala for two fabulous tunics, on sale for 50% off

getting two pretty rings, of mother-of-pearl and blue topaz, and a spiral shell necklace at nahiku ti gallery

somehow managing to startle kathleen, who picked me up at the airport, with how much being in maui had changed my energy

review of 12 states presentation

my friend and fellow NLPer katie raver attended the meetup at which i finally gave my presentation on the 12 states of attention on tuesday, september 23, and she blogged about it.

click the title of this post to read what she wrote, or read below:

Thursday, September 25, 2008
Mary Ann Reynolds & The 12 States of Attention
NLP Practitioner Mary Ann Reynolds spoke at last Tuesday’s Austin NLP Meetup. She blogged the exercises and stories for her presentation, and the links below lead to the related entries, or websites for Tom Best and Nelson Zink.

Mary Ann Reynolds managed to succeed at the impossible task of engaging advanced NLP students and beginners, all in the same room – by using a foundation of existing NLP materials, making them her own, and expanding upon them.

And she did that with Nelson Zink’s 12 States of Attention. After hearing Tom Best read from Nelson’s book The Structure of Delight during her NLP Practitioner class, she bought the book and started playing. She took a Nightwalking class. She researched how the eye works. She started practicing peripheral vision on the Austin greenbelt. And she started experimenting with the 12 states.

Mary Ann did several things that new presenters could learn from. First, she did that thing we all know we should do but never actually do: she gave herself plenty of time to prepare – months, in fact. She also got together with an experienced speaker and talked through her ideas. Nice. She copiously wrote out each of her exercises and stories for the night. And she did a practice run, by herself, to work out timing.

Very elegantly, she started out by talking about a recent trip to West Texas, lingering upon each of the 12 states. I do love a good isomorphic story.

One of my favorite exercises was the astonishingly simple Rapidly Moving Through the 12 States. It’s an easy way to practice specific examples of each of the 12 states, and could be done in a minute or two every day.

She also did a brief hypnotic induction about, I assume, the 12 states. I really can’t remember anything except a very clear vision of myself and my friends on the beach in Hana, Maui, under the full moon, brimming with joy. That was certainly worth a little amnesia!

One of the things I adore about Mary Ann is her unapologetic demeanor. The 12 states of Attention and Nightwalking are… a little weird. Really, anything that expands the filters with which you take in the world, that literally expands your ability to perceive – could fit in the category of weird for many people. And Mary Ann simply pays it no mind. She puts on her “peripheral training device” (a baseball cap with a rod attached to the bill, suspending a glow-in-the-dark ball out in front) to show people how it works. She describes the 12 states as if she were describing car mechanics. She has you stare at your thumb nail for a full minute. And she does it all with a twinkle in her eye, knowing that you’ll discover something wonderful, too.

Her confidence and presence are certainly unusual for a first-time presenter. She even had a couple of good belly laughs during her presentation! I don’t know where this petite, poised powerhouse is headed with NLP or presenting, but I sure hope to be there for what’s next.

12 states of attention: multiple states at once

Can you experience more than one state at a time? Wanna try it? We'll start with three states at a time.


VAKEB—see everything in front of you, hear all sounds, feel your skin

VAKEN—see one object, hear one sound, feel one part of your body

VAKIB—imagine a sunset, the sound of crickets, feeling peaceful

VAKIN—imagine threading a needle, hearing a bell, and feeling warmth in your chest


Here’s another way to combine three states:


VEB and VEN—see the room in front of you and notice one thing

AEB and AEN—hear all the sounds in the environment and focus on one particular sound

KEB and KEN—feel all of your skin while feeling your butt on the chair

VIB and VIN—imagine a giant tic-tac-toe board superimposed on the space in front of you and place an O in the middle square

AIB and AIN—imagine the sound of applause while hearing a fanfare

KIB and KIN—imagine feeling excited while taking longer inhalations


Now let’s practice 4 states at a time:


VEB/VEN/VIB/VIN--see this space in front of you and simultaneously notice one thing while imagining a giant tic-tac-toe board superimposed on the space in front of you and placing an O in the middle square

AEB/AEN/AIB/AIN--hear all the sounds in this environment and focus on one particular sound at the same time you imagine the sound of applause and a fanfare

KEB/KEN/KIB/KIN-- feel all of your skin while feeling your butt on the chair and imagine feeling excited while inhaling


How about trying 6 states at once?


VAKEB/VAKEN--see everything in front of you, hear all sounds, feel your skin, see one object, hear one sound, feel your butt on the chair

VAKIB/VAKIN--imagine a sunset, the sound of crickets, feeling excited, while imagining yourself threading a needle, hearing a bell, and feeling warmth inside your chest


for the really brave, here are all 12 states at once (or as close as i could get):


Look externally into the room. Look broadly and at the same time, at one object right in front of you.

Superimpose a giant tic-tac-toe grid in front of you. You’re going to fill this grid with Xs, except for the middle square.

Now imagine an X appearing on the grid. As it appears, make a little sound to yourself (eep) and simultaneously clap your hands.

Now imagine another X appearing, hearing the internal sound and clapping. Hear everyone making claps.

Feel excitement building about being able to do this as you notice your breath.

Continue doing all of this until you’ve filled all but the center square.

Now see the entire grid in front of you. Stand up, raise your arms, and as you put an O in the center square, dance with your whole body, including your index fingers, and say TA DA! at the same time you hear a fanfare.

12 states of attention: suggestions for practice

This is a handout for my 12 States of Attention presentation.


• Practice staying in a single state for a minute at a time. Add time as you gain mastery.
• Practice switching rapidly through all 12 states. Write a brief script and memorize it. Change the order if it gets stale.
• Notice which state(s) you’re in in any given situation.
• Notice which state(s) others are in.
• Practice difficult states to strength neurology.
• Experience an event or situation in as many states as possible.
• Notice the qualities of each state.
• Add submodalities to each state.
• Choose a state and focus on it for an hour or a day.
• Learn to shift states when feeling bored or stuck.
• Notice which state might be most useful in any given situation.
• If you’re feeling pain (KIN), go broad and feel that amount of pain spread through your whole body. Start with minor pains. It will take practice, but it makes pain much more bearable.
• To move out of depression (which is XIN), first go external (XEN), then go broad (XEB), then go internal (XIB). For instance, if you are hearing a narrow internal voice, first focus on single external sounds, then open up and let all sounds come in, and then go back internal (construct or remember a broad experience of sounds).

12 states of attention: peripheral vision

We have two types of vision, foveal and peripheral. Foveal vision is focused, sees colors and details well. It works really well for threading needles and pulling out splinters. Peripheral vision sees contrast between light and dark, patterns, and movements really well.

Foveal vision uses the cones in the eyes; peripheral vision uses rods. We have many, many more rods than cones, yet modern life rarely offers us opportunities to use peripheral vision--so we may just be using a fraction of our visual potential. Peripheral vision may be closer to how animals see, and it certainly would have come in handy for survival in nature, especially at night.

There's a trick to getting the most out of your peripheral vision. If you hold your thumb up 12" in front of your face and look at the thumbnail, you will notice that you are slightly cross-eyed. Everything beyond your thumb looks doubled.

Practice this and see if you can hold your eyes on that spot while removing your thumb. If you lose it, put your thumb up again and gaze at the nail.

But peripheral vision is not about gazing at your thumbnail. Notice how much more visual information comes into your field of vision while holding your eyes in the peripheral gaze. Extend your arms out to your sides and wiggle your fingers. Move your arms until you can barely see your fingers. It's close to 180 degrees! Notice the vertical expansion of your vision.

Also notice any shifts in physiological state when you shift between peripheral and foveal vision. Some people feel their center of gravity move down. Some feel chakras open up, especially the third eye.

It's interesting to note that in meditation instruction, the teacher may instruct students to move their eyes as if they are gazing at a point in between their eyebrows while they sit. Some images of the Buddha show him with his eyes slightly crossed and gazing down, eyelids half open. Yoga instructors may advise students to use a soft gaze or soft focus.

These are all pointing at the same experience. Peripheral vision has its own physiological state, and it is calm yet alert and grounded.

Read what Nelson Zink has to say about it on navaching.com. Go to Hawkeen Training and read the page on Nightwalking.

I've done nightwalking with Tom Best, who is offering it again in November 2008. Check it out at www.nlpoptions.com. White light destroys peripheral vision, so it's best to do on a moonless or overcast night. You'd be amazed at how well you can see just using peripheral vision. You can learn to have faith in it, that somehow when in the peripheral state of awareness, your body just knows how to walk and be safe without focusing on the path ahead.

I practice peripheral vision from time to time with a "rodball"--a device Tom and Bobbi Best created. One day I was walking on the greenbelt in a ballcap with my rodball attached. I passed several people, and no one said anything. Then one woman and I crossed paths, and she asked, "What's that on your hat?" Pure curiosity. I told her it was a peripheral vision training device. "Cool," she said.

I also practice it at odd moments without the rodball when I don't need to use foveal vision. Walking down long hallways at work is a good place to practice, and it's especially handy in elevators. I don't feel the lurch.

Unusual phenomena may occur, such as a feeling that even while walking, you are in the same place and everything else is moving past you. It's almost like floating and feels incredibly alive. There's no fatigue. Your timeline may shift from linear time to momentary time.

Also, at night you may be able to see phosphorescence around plants in the lower part of your visual field.

What do you notice using peripheral vision?

12 states of attention: notice what you didn't notice exercise

This exercise implicitly makes use of the broad/narrow distinction of the 12 states. Tom Best used it in evolutionary NLP training. See link to Best Resources.

Have fun!


Sit comfortably and notice what you see externally.

Breathe and return to center. Look again, noticing what you didn’t hear the first time.

Repeat 3 times.

Notice what you hear externally.

Breathe and return to center. Listen again, noticing what you didn’t hear the first time.

Repeat 3 times.

Notice what you are feeling externally.

Breathe and return to center. Notice again what you didn’t feel the first time.

Repeat 3 times.

Now externally see, hear, and feel, all at the same time.

Now notice what images you see internally.

Breathe and return to center. Notice what you didn’t see the first time.

Repeat 3 times.

Notice what you hear internally.

Breathe and return to center. Now notice what you didn’t hear the first time.

Repeat 3 times.

Notice what you feel internally.

Breathe and return to center. Notice what you didn’t feel the first time.

Repeat 3 times.

Then internally, see, hear, and feel, all at the same time.


Credit: Best Resources/Texas Institute of NLP, Evolutionary NLP, 2008.

12 states of attention: rapidly moving through them

12 States of Attention Rapidly.

Spend 5 second in each state. This exercise takes a minute to do and so it’s easy to find time to do it daily—in line at the grocery store, stopped at a red light…

See everything that’s in your visual field.

Notice one small or distant item in front of you.

Let all sounds in your environment come into your ears.

Focus your hearing on one sound.

Feel the skin of your entire body.

Feel just the soles of your feet.

Imagine a beautiful sunset.

Imagine a bird flying by.

Imagine an orchestra tuning up.

Just hear the trumpet.

Notice how relaxed your body is.

Notice the feeling in the center of your chest.


Practice every day. Create a script with one or two words for each state and memorize these 12 words. For instance:

room
light switch
all sounds
one sound
all skin
soles
sunset
bird
orchestra
trumpet
relax
chest

If you get bored, change the content.

When you can move from state to state rapidly, practice them in a different order.

12 states of attention: moving through them randomly

Spend 10 seconds in each state.


Wiggle your left big toe KEN

Look at the whole ceiling VEB

Imagine a roomful of people chanting OM AIB

Imagine feeling peaceful KIB

Hear this bell AEN

Notice an electric outlet VEN

Imagine the view from a mountaintop VIB

Hear the sounds in this environment AEB

Feel the air move through your nostrils KIN

Imagine saying your name AIN

Imagine the tip of a pencil VIN

Feel the temperature in this room KEB

12 states of attention: presentation description

i'm excited! my presentation on the 12 states of attention at the september austin NLP meetup has been announced. here's the description (and you can click the title of this post to go to the austin NLP meetup site with directions):

May I Have Your Attention, Please?

Thanks, and now that I have it, that will be the topic of the September meetup!

If as the Hawaiian shamans say, energy flows where attention goes, we
can polish our energetic pipelines by attending to attention. An NLP
cornerstone is that we pay attention primarily through our visual,
auditory, and kinesthetic (VAK) senses. Additional distinctions refine
each of these senses, giving us 12 states of attention.

Join me for an interactive presentation on the 12 states of attention,
based on the work of NLP practitioner and therapist Nelson Zink, author
of The Structure of Delight and creator of the website navaching.com.

In an engaging and playful way, we will:

• learn what the 12 states of attention are
• practice each state
• practice shifting from state to state
• practice combining states
• notice which states are most powerful for us
• share our experiences using this new framework

We will explore both consensual and individual realities, and we will
learn which states are most likely to accompany happiness. We can learn
ways to get unstuck from unpleasant states and experiment with these
new “mind toys” so that we never need to be bored or depressed again.
Learning the 12 states of attention will increase your choices and
enrich your life.

Mary Ann Reynolds is an Austin NLP practitioner, having studied both
NLP and evolutionary NLP through Best Resources/Texas Institute of NLP.
Her varied education — degrees from the University of Oklahoma, and UT
Austin and certifications in technical writing, InterPlay leadership,
and NLP — contributes to her work as a publisher, editor, and writer
and to her sense of adventure and playfulness. Mary Ann is a long-time
practitioner of yoga, and she counts Spirit, health, and personal
transformation among her abiding interests.

Tuesday September 23, 2008
7 - 9:30PM
The Unity Center
$10 suggested donation

12 states of attention: my trip to west texas

In July, I took my first trip to west Texas. Driving out there, I noticed the landscape gradually change from hills, to mesa, to flat lands with occasional mountains. Sometimes I’d see a car approaching in the distance or a buzzard circling.

I heard the sound of the tires on the road, and then later I put on a CD and listened to poetry.

As I was driving, I noticed it was hot and adjusted the air conditioner. i enjoyed feeling the cool air blow on my face.

We went to a star party at the McDonald Observatory. As I was falling asleep that night, I vividly remembered that sky full of stars, especially the brightness of Jupiter low in the western sky.

Later I remembered the hearing sounds of kids shouting and splashing in the pool at Balmorhea State Park and a mechanical noise that I couldn’t identify.

I like camping, but after 3 nights in a tent, I anticipated crawling under the covers and feeling my whole body relax as my head hitting the pillow. Ah!


as you can infer, i hope, the 12 states of attention are states we already use. this is just a conscious framework for it.

12 states of attention: overview

i'll be doing a presentation on september 23 at the austin NLP meetup on the topic of the 12 states of attention. these were named, though not invented, by a man named nelson zink, who wrote a delightful book called "the structure of delight." he also has a website, www.navaching.com.

the 12 states come from the 3 major representation systems (i.e., senses), visual (V), auditory (A), and kinesthetic (K).

in addition, zink makes a couple of more refinements. each of these states can be either internal or external (I or E), and they can also be narrow or broad (N or B)--and anywhere in between--a sliding scale.

so we have these 12 states as ways we use our attention:

VEB--visual external broad, like watching a sunset, seeing a landscape, a starry sky

VEN--visual external narrow, foveal vision, focusing on one object--a ship on the horizon, a bird in the sky

AEB--auditory external broad, like walking into a party and hearing many conversations at once, hearing an orchestra tune up, a stadium full of people cheering

AEN--auditory external narrow, like picking up a single word in those many conversations, hearing just the trumpet, hearing one person's clapping

KEB--kinesthetic external broad, like feeling sweaty, feeling your clothing against your skin, feeling wet, feeling the wind on your skin

KEN--kinesthetic external narrow, feeling your butt on the seat of a chair, the soles of your feet in your shoes, a hair tickling your neck, a fly landing on your arm

VIB--visual internal broad, remember seeing a beautiful sunset, view from a mountaintop, remember looking at the ocean's horizon

VIN--visual internal narrow, imagine seeing a bird flying by, seeing a distant car, remember seeing a ship far away

AIB--auditory internal broad, imagine the sound of a stadium full of people applauding, the sound of a motor, remember the sound of rain on a tin roof

AIN--auditory internal narrow, remember the sound of a trumpet, imagine hearing a pin drop, remember a dripping sound

KIB--kinesthetic internal broad, feeling happy, feeling excited, feeling grief, feeling relaxed

KIN--kinesthetic internal narrow, feeling the pain of a paper cut, feeling a rock in your shoe, feeling the air moving in your nostrils


notes:

the internal auditory and visual states are either remembered or constructed. (some say memories are constructed.)

the external states are being present in the here and now.

internal kinesthetic states can be here and now, and remembered or constructed.

the skin is the boundary for internal and external.

zink claims that there are physiological differences between broad and narrow states.


things to notice:

notice the difference between internal and external. do you sense a boundary?

notice the difference between broad and narrow.

notice which states are hard and which are easy.

notice if you take detours. for instance, to imagine the sound of a stadium of people cheering, do you first need to imagine seeing it?

inner communication

i recently finished reading frogs into princes by richard bandler and john grinder. it's one of the early NLP books.

in the last part, they talk about parts and reframing and hypnosis.

what i got from that was an understanding that all my parts except what's in conscious awareness at any given moment are unconscious, and they all want something positive for me. much of my life is run by my unconscious. it keeps me going, doing a huge amount of work, and sometimes it seems like my conscious mind just gets in the way, bungling around with this belief and that, trying to manage.

so i thought it would be really a good idea to give my unconscious parts permission to all be aware of each other and to work together congruently, creatively, and intelligently to give me the best possible life they can. i want them to all appreciate all of the work they've been doing. some of it has been truly great work.

i don't need to be consciously aware of what they've done, are doing, and will do. what i want is for them to get even better at running my health, spiritual awareness, energy conservation and use, relationships, developing talents, manifesting, making decisions, and happiness. and do this all behind the scenes, but well. so i can consciously be surprised and delighted by how well my life is going, by the opportunities and messages that show up.

i wrote this in my journal on sunday morning.

this morning i dreamed that i talked to someone i haven't talked to in two years, a relationship that i ended because i realized i did not trust him.

when i woke up, i knew something had shifted inside.

in my dream i talked to him as if i could trust him, as if he understood emotional consequences. he didn't talk in monologues in the dream. he was actually responsive.

it feels like my inner communication is working. my body feels different inside, like there are fewer boundaries, less tension, less strain. i feel more relaxed and at peace. i feel more congruent.

i have given up so much of the present dealing with the past. i want to be more present and let the past stay in the past. it's gone. there's no need to dwell on the many weirdnesses of my history.

it's like my inner control freak just relaxed. sweet!

new research on treating fear related disorders

click the title link to go to the article in Science Daily, and related articles. relates to how the NLP counter-example (allergy) cure and the phobia/trauma cure may actually be working.

great article on perception

i came across this article in The New Yorker today, referred by something in the New York Times. NLPers especially may be interested, because it's about perception, the brain and nervous system, and meaning.

the article is long, 8 pages, but you can start reading at the bottom of page 4 if you don't want to read a gruesome story about a woman with an incessant, horrible itch on her scalp. you might feel better if you skip that part.

toward the end you can read about using mirror therapy to work with phantom limb pain. there's a way to retrain the brain's sensors. no drugs or surgery needed. end suffering quickly.

one fascinating factoid i read is an estimate that only 10 to 20% of what we see is actually information entering the visual cortex through the eye. the rest comes from elsewhere in the brain, like memories.

click the title of this posting to go to the article.

dream: singing in a convertible in LA

dreamed on june 21, solstice.

i am in los angeles. (I lived there when i was 3. it's where my first memories are. haven't spent any time besides layovers there since then.)

i meet up with people. we are all dressed nicely, in linen dresses and summer suits, summer hats, sunglasses. we look polished.

we are going to an art museum with beautiful grounds. we're riding in a very large convertible with the top down. it's so big, there must be 10 of us sitting in it. we pull into the parking lot. someone else in the parking lot asks a question of us.

in response, we spontaneously burst into song, singing "jesu, joy of man's desiring" in beautiful harmony.

i'm glad i'm with these people. i enjoy spontaneous singing a lot. others at the museum are more sedate, and curious about our joy.

people from various stages of my life appear: lela and hannah, paul, roger, suzy, bj and her kids. they join us.

someone wants to go see the ocean. i've been in LA for awhile but haven't seen it yet. we are driving down the mountains, and the air is hazy. i can't see the ocean from here.

the group splits up. the LA people go off together, leaving us visitors on our own inside the art museum. end of dream.

==

i was thinking about booking my flight to maui for october, and after this dream, i made sure to book through LA. it's done. oct 8-22. for details, click the title of this post.

dream: visiting a church

dreamed on 6/18/2008.

i am in a church. it is a rather large church. the service hasn't yet begun, the choir is singing, pews are filling up as people enter and get settled, waiting for the service to begin.

i find a stray purse and want to connect it to its owner, only i don't know who it belongs to. i carry it with me, holding it out so its owner can recognize it.

i go up into the choir area, and someone in the choir says, "you can leave that here--i'll get it to its owner." i set it down on the floor.

i am in a foyer, reading the bulletin board. i am reading an account of a visit to another church by a member of this church. the writer, a woman, is telling the story at the same time i am reading it. i hear her voice. it is not exactly simultaneous with what i am reading, but not too far off, either.

the written part is typed up like in an old-fashioned church bulletin.

the church she and her husband visited is on a college campus where they are visiting their daughter. it is a notable church, old and historic.

==

i wonder if this is the first time i have ever dreamed that i was reading something simultaneously with hearing someone tell the same story i'm reading. it was like harmony or stereo, deepening the experience.

there is something about church in my life--my father was an episcopal priest full time until i was 11, when he went to grad school and changed careers. i went to church just about every sunday of my childhood. i wouldn't say that i "got it" but i value the experience--the exposure to the liturgy, the words, the ritual, the progression of the service.

what i remember most is feeling like i was a good person, spiritually clean and uplifted, after attending a church service. even when i didn't know what the words meant. church gave me a new start every week.

one inspiration for this dream is playing church music. i have stayed at glenda's several times now, and in the evening right before bed, she plays her piano. she asks first if i mind. heck no! i love hearing people play who know how to play.

glenda plays hymns--nothing too complex, but with skill and feeling. her playing is a wonderful send-off to slumber.

the last time i was at her house, she played several hymns saturday night. sunday morning, i got ready for eNLP early and wondered if anyone minded if i sat down at the piano and played. no.

it had been years--so long ago i don't remember--since i played the piano. i started with treble clef only, reading music from glenda's hymnal, which is a baptist hymnal, i imagine--at least that explains why i didn't recognize so many of the tunes, having been raised episcopalian.

i searched out hymns in the key of C, or with only one sharp or flat, feeling rusty at reading anything more complex. i found some i could play that had harmony in just the treble clef. the rhythm just came to me.

glenda was full of praise for my sight-reading. beam!

then i found a hymn i know well, "morning has broken," which i will forever think of as an old cat stevens song, although the hymnal attributed the tune as traditional gaelic. i pointed that out to keith, my scotch-irish friend (and glenda's son-in-law) who plays pennywhistle. he hung around a bit and sang.

i love that tune, and the words in the hymnal. click the title of this post to read the lyrics.

i got bolder and added the bass clef notes, slowing me down considerably, but it came back to me. and i knew what i would need to do to quickly learn to read and play bass clef better than i ever have.

right then, after playing it twice reading both clefs, i spotted what i thought might be a flute in its case. sure enough, it was. i took it out and put it together and played it.

oh, my. it's been at least 10 years since i've played flute. mine is sitting on my bookshelf in its case, not functional.

the beauty of playing music and wanting to get better at it is something i would like to have more of in my life. maybe it's time to get that flute fixed.

dream: witness

dreamed on june 12.

i am with my friend fantasia, and we are standing next to a screen on which credits are scrolling past, like in the movies, only it's daytime. in black print on a white background, a credit says "Witnessing", and under it is my name, "Mary Ann Reynolds".

i know that it was fantasia's idea to put my name in the credits. it's as if it's my work or talent.

--

i like this dream! "the witness" is something i've been playing with from eNLP. it is "merely observing," without seeking. it is transcendent of contraction, separation, attachment, needing, illusion. it makes no effort. it is simple awareness, and attention--the motion toward things--arises spontaneously and superimposes itsel on it.