blogs

I'm considering consolidating both of my blogs into one.

I realized this morning that this blog has many posts that are directly or indirectly about a (my?) path to enlightenment. The poems, the links to articles about the brain, my interest in health, the mind, yoga, spirit, love...

My new blog is a journal of my commitment to sit in meditation for 30 minutes every day for a year.

I could combine these two blogs into one. Perhaps call it Enlightenment Arts, Sciences, and Practices... or something like that.

Going through this blog and deciding which posts to save, and how to label them, and then actually copying or exporting them is a big job.

I am hoping for a snow day to work on that.

So...expect changes!

poem: New Year's Resolution, by Philip Appleman

this is now my favorite new year's poem!


New Year's Resolution




Well, I did it again, bringing in

that infant Purity across the land,

welcoming Innocence with gin

in New York, waiting up

to help Chicago,

Denver, L.A., Fairbanks, Hon-

olulu--and now

the high school bands are alienating Dallas,

and girls in gold and tangerine

have lost all touch with Pasadena,

and young men with muscles and missing teeth

are dreaming of personal fouls,

and it's all beginning again, just like

those other Januaries in

instant reply.



But I've had enough

of turning to look back, the old

post-morteming of defeat:

people I loved but didn't touch,

friends I haven't seen for years,

strangers who smiled but didn't speak--failures,

failures. No,

I refuse to leave it at that, because

somewhere, off camera,

January is coming like Venus

up from the murk of December, re-

virginized, as innocent

of loss as any dawn. Resolved: this year

I'm going to break my losing streak,

I'm going to stay alert, reach out,

speak when not spoken to,

read the minds of people in the streets.

I'm going to practice every day,

stay in training, and be moderate

in all things.

All things but love.



~ Philip Appleman ~



(New and Selected Poems, 1956-1996)

poem: view with a grain of sand, by wislawa szymborska

this poem to me is about the nameless and the named, to quote another poet, leonard cohen. 

tom best had participants in a nightwalking workshop do an exercise of walking around and naming what we saw.

then we walked around and looked at patterns and gave them nonsense names. 

take the tree's point of view, or the rock's, or the grain of sand's. become the tree, the rock, the grain of sand. 

this poem reminds me of that. but i'm not so sure these "things" are as oblivious to us as we often are to them. our naming puts us in the map, not the territory.

how do we, how can we know a grain of sand doesn't feel itself seen and touched? it may not have a nervous system, but it may still have some form of consciousness. 

what if everything, all of existence, is conscious? 

View With a Grain of Sand

We call it a grain of sand,
but it calls itself neither grain nor sand.
It does just fine, without a name,
whether general, particular,
permanent, passing,
incorrect, or apt.

Our glance, our touch means nothing to it.
It doesn't feel itself seen and touched.
And that it fell on the windowsill
is only our experience, not its.
For it, it is not different from falling on anything else
with no assurance that it has finished falling
or that it is falling still.

The window has a wonderful view of a lake,
but the view doesn't view itself.
It exists in this world
colorless, shapeless,
soundless, odorless, and painless.

The lake's floor exists floorlessly,
and its shore exists shorelessly.
The water feels itself neither wet nor dry
and its waves to themselves are neither singular nor plural.
They splash deaf to their own noise
on pebbles neither large nor small.

And all this beneath a sky by nature skyless
in which the sun sets without setting at all
and hides without hiding behind an unminding cloud.
The wind ruffles it, its only reason being
that it blows.

A second passes.
A second second.
A third.
But they're three seconds only for us.

Time has passed like courier with urgent news.
But that's just our simile.
The character is inverted, his haste is make believe,
his news inhuman.

2010 tarot reading

i did my annual tarot reading late last night. this year i used the osho zen deck for the first time. i've used the crowley/thoth deck before. i love this new deck!

i've never posted a tarot reading before. it'll be interesting at the end of 2010 to go back and read this. i kind of believe it, and kind of not. i drew these specific cards using this specific (celtic cross) layout to get a general reading for 2010, although i could only draw these cards in the moment i drew them, and they reflect that. any other time, i would draw different cards. you would draw different cards.

for whatever it's worth, here's what i drew last night.

issue: breakthrough (major arcana)

enhancing: playfulness (page of fire/wands)

unconscious influences: the Source (ace of fire/wands)

conscious influences: the outsider (5 of rainbows/disks)

old patterns: the creator (king of fire/wands)

new patterns: participation (4 of fire/wands)

feelings and attitudes about issue: letting go (8 of water/cups)

attracting from outside: intensity (knight of fire/wands)

desires/denials: control (king of clouds/swords)

outcome/key: morality (queen of clouds/swords)

what seems significant:

• gut impression: this is a promising, interesting, and curious reading, not without challenges.
• the only major arcana card i drew is the issue, breakthrough. meditation is the method, affirming what i've already begun. 
• half the cards were in the suit of fire/wands (still mentally translating thoth to osho zen). this suit is about action and response, following my gut instincts instead of mind or emotions.
• i drew one card each in rainbows/disks (earth) and water/cups (emotions). 
• i drew six "court" cards--page, knight, kings, queen, ace. these represent opportunities for mastery over the elements they represent. that's a lot of mastery!
• i can't think of a better unconscious influence than the Source! i can let the Source decide where my potential lies and relax there.
• lots of harmonics here to explore: the outsider and participation, playfulness and breakthrough, attracting intensity, desire/denial of control
• the issue (breakthrough) and outcome (morality) are an especially interesting combination.

now i'm going to meditate!

sherlock holmes mini-review

saw Sherlock Holmes with friends last night. i didn't like the story or the sets that much, but loved the 2 main characters--they played well together and were believable. downey played a nontraditional sherlock who seemed bipolar. i liked how the film showed his swift visual calculations and carry-through, the genius of holmes at his best.

article: rewiring the mammalian brain

thanks to pat siebert for posting a link to this on facebook. click the title of this post to view the article.

stunning news: the brain rewires itself within hours after experience! don't you just love science?

the article goes into how neurons forge connections with other neurons. here's the gist of it:

Studying neuron clusters from the neocortex of neonatal rats, Markram and Le Bé found that instead of growing preferentially towards specific receivers, neurons actually have no particular affinity for any other neuron, but instead remain in a state of perpetual readiness to reconfigure circuits. They found that over the course of just a few hours, connections are formed and re-formed many times.

"The circuitry of the brain is like a social network where neurons are like people, directly linked to only a few other people," explains Markram. "This finding indicates that the brain is constantly switching alliances and linking with new circles of "friends" to better process information."

In their samples, the rewiring process was occurring continuously at a slow pace. By exciting the sample with glutamate, they found that the rate increased markedly. This suggests that with a strong new experience, the brain accelerates its reconfiguration process, allowing new connections to be made, tested, and strengthened, and weaker ones removed so that the brain is quickly better adapted to the new situation.

glutamate is also known as glutamic acid. it is a nonessential amino acid. it is the most abundant excitatory neurotransmitter in the vertebrate nervous system, according to wikipedia. it is involved in learning and memory.

food sources: MSG, animal and plant sources of protein, the seaweed kombu. usually no supplementation is needed.

new article about the aging brain

it's nice to know that as one traverses middle age, the brain gets better at seeing the big picture, recognizing significance and even solutions more quickly than a younger person can. maybe that makes up for those tip-of-tongue moments.

but we need to make new neural connections:

Educators say that, for adults, one way to nudge neurons in the right direction is to challenge the very assumptions they have worked so hard to accumulate while young. With a brain already full of well-connected pathways, adult learners should “jiggle their synapses a bit” by confronting thoughts that are contrary to their own, says Dr. Taylor.

new blog

i started a new blog, to focus on meditation. i made a commitment to sit daily in 2010. check it out if you're interested. http://zafureport.wordpress.com/

2010 anticipations

in 2010, i am looking forward to the following things already set in motion:

• meditating for 30 minutes every day and blogging about it (new blog up at http://zafureport.wordpress.com/). i've meditated for about 4 years. probably the longest i have done it daily has been 3 weeks. something interrupts. i get out of the habit. then i get back into, but sometimes it's taken a couple of weeks. it's so beneficial that i'm not allowing myself any excuses except being physically unable to sit. 
• i'll also be working with a meditation coach for the first time, peg syverson.
• continuing my practice of yoga, assisting my yoga teacher, working with other teachers occasionally, classes and home practice. working toward balance and strength, spine and pelvis. 
• continuing my bodywork partnerships with patrice and nina.
• moving towards a promotion at work, succeeding my most capable manager, who is retiring in december 2010. learning from a mentor who is already a manager. being ready for a smooth transition no matter who gets the job. understanding my workplace and its people and processes more deeply. moving a year closer to a good retirement in 2013.
• co-leading the monthly Peripheral Walking meetup with katie raver.
• helping lead Austin NLP. getting speakers lined up and ready, increasing attendance, strengthening the NLP community and reaching out to others who can benefit.
• taking advanced NLP courses with keith fail. authentic public speaking and NLP strategies are on the horizon. 
• assisting tom and bobbi best at NLP practitioner training and hanging out with new students and fellow assistants
• being part of flint sparks' Hakomi and Internal Family Systems consultation group
• taking a course on the Diamond Sutra with flint
• hopefully doing a seminar with stephen gilligan in march
• customizing my diet to work with my body even more
• helping my daughter get through nursing school by child-sitting my granddaughter when needed, and loving these precious people however i can

i want to sell my house for a big fat profit and buy a more modern, lower maintenance dwelling! i want to be able to buy it outright or have a small mortgage. i want to sell my house to someone who will love its character and remodel it rather than tear it down and build anew. i want the buyer to be someone who will be a good neighbor to bruce.

i can use some helpful advice about getting it ready to put on the market without outlaying too much money. it's definitely a fixer-upper and has been the whole 9 years i've lived here. i've loved it anyway...having discovered that i have no affinity for fixer-upping. i'd rather work outdoors, on gardening and landscaping, rather than using power tools, which i'm awkward at. it's time to move on.

i want to buy a place that has modern amenities like a garage, central heat and air, and a dishwasher. i want the structure and HVAC/plumbing/wiring to be in good shape. i want it to have at least 2 bedrooms and 2 baths. i want it to be fairly close in but in a quieter neighborhood. good friends nearby. a sunny spot for gardening. close to nature. a bikeable area. excellent reliable appliances. a good vibe.

and i don't know yet what form it will take--duplex, condo, townhouse, single-family house. i probably won't even look until selling my house is imminent.

may the selling of this house and buying of my next place and moving out and in go smoothly. may i find the right buyer.  may i find the right new home. may i sell and buy at the right price. and may i only have to move once!

who knows what else this year may bring? a lot of delightful surprises, synchronicities, new friends, deeper ties with old friends, bigger love. and of course there will be losses. as one of the teachers at love yoga coop yesterday said, you're at the yoga party, and there's dancing and there's also grief.

blessings on me, you, and the whole world, this first day of 2010!

2009 gratitude

2009 was a good year for me.

i finished my training as a master practitioner of NLP. it's a fabulous body of work variously described as Now Let's Play, a super-duper set of people skills, and the structure of experience. i learned so much, it would be hard to describe. have had one client since then and am open to more. it's very gratifying to guide someone whose energy about a past event has been dragging them down and holding them back toward shedding their own light on that situation, totally changing their perception of the event into one of expansion and lightness, so they can move on. all i do is guide them.

thank you, tom and bobbi best of Best Resources/Texas Institute of NLP. tom, watching you teach a new class of beginners has revealed even more of your mastery as a teacher/storyteller/shaman. bobbi, your suggestion about working with kids (anchoring happy states) is just one example of the brilliance with which you walk around every day, just like an ordinary person. to a long association!

i also began participating in keith fail's advanced study groups for NLP practitioners. good company, good teacher, much to look forward to in 2010, when i will study strategies (and much more, i'm sure).

thank you, keith, for being such an awesome teacher and being such a fount of knowledge of NLP, and having so much practical experience working with individuals and organizations. there is no internship with NLP coaching unless you find a mentor. you are mine, for which i'm grateful. also, thank you for being a pennywhistle buddy and a friend who really sees me.

and thank you, katie raver (keith's wife and my friend), for helping keith teach and for being your awesome loving self with so much presence. indeed you are the instigator of love, teacher of love, being of love! i'm looking forward to our first Peripheral Walking meetup tomorrow and doing this with you all year, and being your friend on into the future.

in the fall, i began assisting my yoga teacher at her monday class that includes beginners. i love doing this. it reminds me of how far i've come, and that each person can only really absorb what they're ready for. yoga is a practice of developing awareness, strength, and flexibility. we work in small chunks--from cow pose to urdhva dhanurasana--upward bow or wheel pose, aka backbend--and over time i see someone become more capable of doing a pose because their bodymind "gets it". yo!

i've said this before, and i'll say it again. yoga works on the meridians. now i don't know when or if those ancient chinese who invented acupuncture and those ancient indians who invented yoga got together and shared notes and then went their separate ways, but they were both onto the same thing--energy flows through our bodies, and both asana and needles can be used to free, balance, and strengthen our energies.

thank you, eleanor harris, yoga teacher extraordinaire, for being my yoga teacher and for allowing me the honor of assisting you and learning at the same time. you are so devoted to your students and a very gentle teacher, yet you have taken me a long, long way in the past five years. while being aware of my limitations, you know just what to say (and where to touch) to move me into a place of righteousness in an asana. namaste.

and thank you, patrice sullivan, acupuncturist and woman-of-all-trades. you are a pioneer, a role model, a wise woman, a genius, and definitely one of the free-est, happiest, and most competent people i know. thank you for your friendship, needles, partnership, teaching, questioning, guiding, rolfing, yoga and exercise coaching, your music, your lightness and fun, and that thing you do with your hands when i'm on the table covered in needles with my eyes closed. somehow i went into your energy once, felt what you feel, saw your color. mm mm mm wow. let's do it again. (i want to learn to read pulses in 2010.) yes-sayer!

i've already posted about my wonderful cranio-sacral therapist, nina davis, and her incredibly wizardry. you are such a healer, and a role model, and a teacher. you are leading me into greater awareness of my body and self-healing. i suspect too that just being in the same room with you brings my energy a little more up to your level. for all of this, i thank you deeply, nina.

i am so lucky to have found good teachers, tom, bobbi, keith, katie, eleanor, patrice, nina...

in 2010, i am adding a couple of new ones from the appamada zendo--a meditation coach, peg syverson, and a teacher, flint sparks, whose paths i crossed in late 2009. i've already had a couple of encounters with them and look forward to our journeys together.